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Melody
| Joined: 26 May 2008 |
| Posts: 1972 |
| Location: Newcastle upon Tyne |
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 Posted: Thu Feb 23, 2012 9:03 pm |
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In celebration of his career, here are some of Frank Carson’s greatest one-liners...
- My wife said to me: “If you won the lottery, would you still love me?” I said: “Of course I would. I’d miss you, but I’d still love you.”
- There’s a professor who’s crossed a chicken with a spider, he’s now got chickens with 8 legs! I said, ‘What does it taste like?” He said, ‘I don’t know, I haven’t caught any yet.’
- My father fought in World War I and single-handedly destroyed the Germans' lines of communication. He ate their pigeon.
- I don't think my wife likes me very much. When I had a heart attack she wrote for an ambulance.
- Englishman, Irishman and a Scotsman are at a Christmas party and each had to bring something to do with Christmas. Englishman brought a bag of tinsel, Scotsman brought a bag of holly and the Irishman brought a pair of knickers. I asked, ‘What’s that got to do with Christmas?’ He said, ‘They’re Carol’s.’
- A fella walks into a pet shop and says: “Give me a wasp.” The shopkeeper replies: “We don’t sell wasps.” He says: “There’s one in the window.”
RIP x
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When something bad happens, you have 3 choices, You can either let it define you, you can let destroy you or you can let it strengthen you.
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Always made me laugh, it was the way he told them. Sleep well Frank and thanks for all the laughs, they were indeed crackers 
