This is not late it’s 12.25 p.m

You’re my kind of bloke!

You really shouldn’t egg me on but re Archer’s story line about Jack’s Alzheimer’s progress reminded of a story I heard recently.

A man took his wife to the Doctor and explained that she had been acting strangely and would he check that all was well. The doctor examined her and said “as you suspected there is something wrong with her. It could be one of two things. Alzheimer’s or Aids.” The husband was clearly shocked and asked how he should confirm which. The doctor said “take her for a long drive (preferable blind folded) then get her to get out. Give her a twenty pound note and drive back home without her”. The husband looked puzzled How will that help he asked . The doctor replied “if she comes homes whatever you do don’t sleep with her.”

“I am an Archer Fan too” there I’ve said it, took some guts but at last I’m ‘out’ phew.
The latest story line has been a bit racy, well in my imagination it has, but that could be the result of some new cheese we got from Waitrose/ Netto.

Anyway me old pal me old beauty, I was sorry to read the altercation from early posts and conclude that the bawling session re Private PM’s was a classic case of PMS I hope PB
(is that really Pat Butcher?) will feel better soon.
There’s a pint of Shires waiting for you when you’ve finished the milking

Oh, it all become clear now,
as an apprentice many years ago I once worked with a woman called Vineger Vera.

Yow aye from the blak cuntree r ya? only ask cus yor acksent sounds as if ur from Dudleee

allrite coc

Really Mary,

We don’t all wish to know the sordid details of how you wash your drawers in the bath, a modicum of decorum during the day wouldn’t go a miss.

Are you sure 3 capfuls of sterilising fluid is sufficient?
You’re not from Essex r u ?

:idea: Just a thought…
If you were to wear the aforementioned garments in the bath, with the sterilising solution; would it be an effective contraceptive and if so for how long?
Would it be necessary to keep them wet for it to work?

I think I’ve sussed out Cath’s real identity and feel flatted by her attention and comforting praise. I am ‘touched’ that she has found the time to post to me when this is a busy time for her.
Welcome back into the ‘limelight’ it’s been dull without you.
Hope your new tour goes well and look forward to you coming to Britain next year.
Wish you were my Neighbour….
~ ~ ~

Your picture gave you away, are those scallop shells? Nice.

Difficult choice to make both candidates have merits, Catz haz a nice name and stylistic Avatar whilst Ruby has a name I don’t like (it brings back too many memories) and an Avatar reminiscent of a sign outside a bar where people of weak wrist muscles may frequent (not that thats a bad thing you understand). So, you would think the choice is easy for me eh? Well, Ruby’s redeeming feature is that she’s from Scotland. And we all know what that means don’t we lads. Langy wonders whether its true about women who wear Red shoes. They look very large he thought, I wonder.

What the bloody hells going on? Catz and rubyred have high jacked my thread with their bickering, which one should I back the tv or sm?
Guidance please

Bat,

It’s very kind of you to show concern for my welfare. I wouldn’t wish for you to worry too much for my well being but whilst Mr Cuddles is there to watch over me I feel he will watch over and guide my progress through areas which are familiar. It would be churlish of me not to explore all areas including Pats cupboard; as with many forbidden fruits I feel drawn to it like a moth to a flame.
I fear it’ll be a while before I appraise myself to the customs and rules of your community and frankly will struggle with the many abbreviations which are used in the shorthand language of the chat rooms. I intend to research the acronyms. more thoroughly and have made steady progress which your shown kind remarks allow me to share with you:
Lol means Laughs out loud sharongooner. Helped me with that.
ASL: Automatic speech language
S&M Small and Mobile I think that refers to the motorised chairs you often see people use when shopping in Malls
M/F is obliviously Massey Ferguson a school boys favourite
Lady Boy. A person you may have gay abundant sex with without fear of a resulting pregnancy.

I am so looking forward to the experiences ahead of me, but still get confused. The last time one of those little boxes opened up on my desktop the message asked me a wine related question. Now how the person knew I was a ‘bon vivant’ is beyond me but why else would he ask whether ‘I spat or swallowed’. How spooky was that? do you think I’ve been infiltrated?
By the way I swallow, it would be such a waste not too don’t you think?

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