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<p class=”x_yiv1400545362yiv1766853491MsoNormal”>Yorkshire man takes his cat to the vet.Yorkshireman: “Ayup, lad, I need to talk to thee about me cat.”
Vet: “Is it a tom ?”
Yorkshireman: “Nay, I’ve browt it wi’ me.”***
A Yorkshireman’s dog dies and as it was a favourite pet he decides to have a gold statue made by a jeweller to remember the dog by.
Yorkshireman: “Can tha mek us a gold statue of yon dog?”
Jeweller: “Do you want it 18 carat?”
Yorkshireman: “No I want it chewin’ a bone, yer daft bugger!”***
A Yorkshireman’s wife dies and the widower decides that, as she had always been a religious woman, her headstone should have the words “Lord, She was Thine” engraved on it.
He calls the stone mason, who assures him that the headstone will be ready a few days after the funeral. True to his word the stone mason calls the widower to say that the headstone is ready and would he like to come and have a look.
When the widower gets there he takes one look at the stone to see that it’s been engraved “Lord, She was Thin”.
He explodes – good grief, man, you’ve left the flamin’ “e” out!
The stone mason apologises and assures the poor widower that it will be rectified the following morning.
Next day comes and the widower returns to the stone mason – “There you go sir, I’ve put the “e” on the stone for you”..
The widower looks at the stone and then reads out aloud – “E Lord, She was Thin”.***
Bloke from Barnsley with a sore backside asks chemist “Nah then lad, does tha sell arse cream?”
Chemist replies “Aye lad, Magnum or Cornetto?”</p>
Very good AB.Reminds me of moving to Yorkshire as a kid from darn sarf, the local accent being totally alien but warm and friendly, a lovely gruff lilt to it. I was shown into my new class and as the lesson progressed the kid next to me in a Yorkshire accent I can’t mimic, said “do you think you could beat the ‘cock'” to which I replied “wot” in a southern accent. “The ‘cock’ he said, the hardest kid in school”. I turned to look at the ‘cock’ and there was a 14 year old, shirt undone, no tie, hairy chest on show and arms covered in tattoo’s and huge like Popeye. A man of a boy. I was pretty tough in those days and practiced Judo at a reasonably high level however I turned back to this kid and squeaked no. The cocks name was nickname”compo” (I never dared ask why) They all had nicknames and mine was “cockney” although I was from nowhere near London. Quite amusing to recall.
Hehehehehe.
😁😁😁
I love Yorkshire. Been there many times. I would move there if I could. Lovely friendly people, beautiful scenery.
1 member liked this post.
I love Yorkshire. Been there many times. I would move there if I could. Lovely friendly people, beautiful scenery.
Was born and bred there, been there done that, would I ever move back?
No thanks, I find there’s much better elsewhere.
Scenery beautiful, people are not as nice as they seem.
All depends on your standards I suppose.
My standards? Not sure what you mean?
My standards? Not sure what you mean?
Sorry, I meant ‘one’s’ standards.
Yorkshire couple with a baby,not been out for months,im not doing apostrophes cba
so him says fancy goin owt teeneet flower
her,nay we got the babby arnold
him,we can go to flicks lahk
her he might crah tho
him nah it be reet
so they go to the cinema,standing in the queue,him muttering bluddy 7 quid for popcorn her sohz the coke
cinema manager approaches them,sorry you cant come inwith the bairn
so they pleaded and said he be reet
so cinema manager says ok but im he starts crying youre out but you can have your money back
anyway 10 mins into film
him,what dost think of film luv?
her rank innit
him aye well give babby a pinch then,we go ter chippy instead.
LOL! to be honest…i’m a southerner but under stand the funnyness here. Shows to me the miss-under standings that can arise if we don’t take time and think before we speak. The world we live in may be big but its a very small place and we can all get flared up if we don’t take time to consider what the other person is saying. JC is a global community…you cant treat every one like they live next door to you or down the street…………………………..unless they do of course. LOL
reet
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