some short jokes for ya

The other day I was wondering, “why does a frisbee get larger the closer it gets to you?”
and then it hit me.

Energizer Bunny arrested; charged with battery

I went to the zoo and the only animal there was a dog.
It was a Shi Tzu

A mouse finds a viarga and eats it. An hour later he’s running around the kitchen going “Where’s the fucking pussy?”

There where two muffins in an oven, the first one leans over to the second and says “shit its hot in here!”
The second one looked shocked and screamed “holy crap a talking muffin!!”

Written on a wall in the men’s room: “My wife follows me everywhere..” Written just below it: “I do not.”

So this guy goes to a costume party wearing only a pair of pants. He rings the doorbell and the host answers the door. The host says, “well, what the hell are you supposed to be?” The guy says, “I’m a premature ejaculation, I just came in my pants.”

A Chinese couple is in bed. The husband says I want 69. His wife says
“Why you want Beef and Broccoli now?”

What is a Yankee?
The same as a quickie, but a guy can do it alone.