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  • #20266

    Ding-a-ling-a-linggggggggggggggggggg !!!!!!!!!!!!!

    Anita Getsomeperspective slapped his puny white arm around until he
    let it clunk on Micky Mouse’s head, finally silencing the shrill alarm
    clock.

    Right on time Mother Getsomeperspective bellowed up the stairs, calling her
    beloved son down for breakfast.

    ” Normannnnnnnnnnnnnnnn!!!! It’s getting cold !! ”

    Anita slipped his feet into his ‘teenage mutant ninja turtle’ slippers,
    wrapped his Batman dressing gown around him and made his way downstairs.
    After he’d climbed onto the kitchen stool at the breakfast bar,
    Mother getsomeperspective placed his plastic plate, with boiled egg and toast soldiers
    infront of him.
    ”Eat up norman, I need to go shopping. Will you be ok on your own for a couple
    of hours?” she asked

    ” of course I bloody will ” he snapped.

    ” Dont be testy with me young man !!” his Mother admonished, ” and drink your
    orange juice”

    ” I don’t want my orange juice”

    ” Norman, don’t make Mummy cross, drink your orange juice”

    ” Mother I’m 42 for gods sake, you cannot be serious !!”

    ” I don’t know why you are so grumpy this morning Norman, did you have an accident
    last night again ?”

    Anita looked embarrassed….

    ” Don’t fret pet, I’ll change the sheets later, now come give Mummy a kiss, I’ll bring you an
    Arctic Roll back, and maybe some of those Birdseye Crispy Pancakes you love so much.”

    Mother Getsomeperspective put on her coat and grabbed her Trolley bag and with a parting shot said…
    ” and Norman, don’t be calling those funny hotline numbers, I still have’nt got the
    stains out my best cushion !”

    Anita Getabrain finished his orange juice, jumped down off his stool and trotted upstairs,
    to get ready for another day of running his own business.

    First to get dressed, * hmmmmm what should a well to do entrepreneur, the owner of his own empire wear today….*
    He finally settled on his Lee Cooper stonewash jeans, a purple, velour, long sleeved
    shirt and a pink turtle neck slung casually around his shoulders. He combed his thick
    Magnum mustache and patted his long curly kevin keegan perm and he was ready for the day.

    Right 1st vital job of the day……….. re-arrange his wall posters !!

    Anita carefully removed his Olivia Newton-John, Bonnie Tyler, Culture Club and Wham posters from the wall by his dressing table and layed them on his A-Team bedspread. He then took down his Paula Abdul, Kim Wilde, Rick Astley and Adam Ant posters and proceeded to swap them onto the other wall.
    After checking all the posters with a spirit level, he was finally satisfied.

    He wiped his brow. Phew…. It was’nt easy being a Captain of Industry, he deserved a break, so he went downstairs and made himself a glass of nesquick and had a quick flick through the knicker section of his Mothers ‘Kays catalogue’.
    Just as he felt himself stirring, at the Cross your heart bra’s section, he heard
    his Mothers shopping trolly being dragged behind her up the driveway.

    Anita’s Father had run away with a one eyed dwarf from Accrington 20 years ago, he just could’nt take seeing his 22 year old son still being breast fed anymore….he’d never looked back.

    Anita quickly slapped the catalogue shut, placed a cushion over his crotch and grabbed a nearby newspaper.

    ” It was heaving in Netto’s, what are you up to Norman…?”

    ” Just checking my stocks and shares ….cough….”

    ” Hmmm, well thats The Sun, Norman, and its upside down son. Would you like some
    pork pie and chips for lunch?”

    ”Mother, you know I only eat healthfood and no meat !!”

    ”What about a pepperami ? or a pop tart ?”

    ”ohhhh ok then…..”

    Anita’s afternoon job was equally important to the success of his global business empire.

    Polishing the cases and re-arranging, alphabetically, his vast CD collection.

    He removed them all from the shelves above his Amstrad Hi Fi system, polished each
    plastic case lovingly, with a soft cloth and a can of Mr Sheen, then re-stacked them on the shelf.
    Abba, ABC, Adam and the Ants, Andy Williams, Billy Ocean ,Boney M, Bonnie Tyler….

    It took hours as Anita had to go through the alphabet with every one.

    At 6:00 an exhausted Anita went down for his Crispy Pancakes and Sooper Noodles.

    Mother Getsomeperspective, settled infront of the small Tv to watch Emmerdale and her other soaps.
    Anita grabbed some cans of Skol and went upstairs to get ready for his ‘Night Out’ !!

    After a soak in the bath, liberally doused in Hai-Karate aftershave, he donned his best red, Kappa tracksuit, pushed a white sweatband over his ‘Elnetted ‘ curls, put his Mr T style chains on, selected a Bangles CD, on volume 9 !!!!!, opened a can of Skol, sat at his Amstrad Spectrum zx81 and he was ready for the night !!
    YESSSSS BABYYYYYYYY BRING IT ONNNNNNNNNN !!!!!!

    He hit ‘ ENTER’ and BAM he was rocking baby in the over 40’s room in Just Chat.

    There he sat, insulting people,laughing at his own jokes, pretending people bothered him in pm to look popular, singing and swinging his chains,
    FEELING LIKE A GOD,
    and generally boring the sweet bejeesus out of anyone with an IQ above 17.

    What a Guy……..

    A Legend….in his own bedroom …….

    #524872

    *wondering of this post is disrespectful towards the ‘highly regarded’ Anita Gofradump.. :-k

    unusual for coathanger, who has always preferred to write about a panoply of characters rather than just one.

    #524873

    Sigh…. I just knew if anyone was going to feel the need it would be you Scep.
    Highly regarded ? you must be using a different chatroom lol.
    So far I’ve had 17 private messengers agreeing with my perceptions from regular chatters, who wish to remain nameless as they know exactly how vile our subject can be.
    However everyone is entitled to their opinion, including you.
    Keep taking the pills mate. :wink:

    #524874

    @sceptical guy wrote:

    *wondering of this post is disrespectful towards the highly regarded Antia Gofradump.. :-k

    unusual for coathanger, who has always preferred to write about a panoply of characters rather than just one.

    ‘Highly regarded’ hmmm

    Agreed it’s not in coathangers usual style to write about one character but after reading through it and and after succumbing to a titter now and then was disappointed that the word obsession wasn’t included.

    Blossom is obsessed with me. LD is a vile old C word and obsessed with me, oh look there is a name changer who hasn’t spoken a word to me yet is obsessed with me, everyone who pm’s me is obsessed with me, moon’s is obsessed with me and I’ll try and abuse her while a guide isn’t in because I can!

    Anita takes the word obsession to the nth degree and back again. He seriously needs to get a grip so I don’t see how you think of him as highly regarded scept?

    I regard him as gag on site due to his constant moaning, abuse of other chatters and trolling tendencies.

    #524875

    =D>

    Pssst…. I think Scep just likes to have a different opinion to others on most things…… :lol:

    #524876

    @coathanger wrote:

    =D>

    Pssst…. I think Scep just likes to have a different opinion to others on most things…… :lol:

    True it’s simply what Scep does. :wink:

    #524877

    spot on coathanger
    excellent sterling work
    superb analytical observation
    keep up the fantastic insights.

    #524878

    I’d have a few things to say on ‘ar Nita’ …

    It’s just that I have neither the time nor inclination to do so at the moment :-

    May get back to you later :P :wink:

    #524879

    id love to see a tale about those perpetual trollers moi and Gucci
    yes I know I can iggy but it spoils the flow
    what I cant get is….. well that’s the point I cant /don’t comprehend the whole moi concept
    people have tried to explain to me,,,, but hes funny cant you see?
    er no I cant honestly im not having a dig but I just don’t get the gig
    and he seems to have a fan club to back him up
    well when I say a fan club I mean one mad octogenarian who hangs on to his every word
    and then replies to his drunken tosh
    thus spamming the room even further
    its not on really and something should be done about it
    some nights the room is full 160 plus
    and a lot of chatters cant get a word in edgeways,and that’s the experienced ones
    god knows what up and coming new chatters think of this
    if anybody needs gagging its moi
    I was going to do a poll about it,but instead seeing im here(and yes I know a lot of you are reading this but I wonder how many of you will agree with me in black and white here

    moi is a spammer extraordinare yes/no
    moi should be gagged on sight yes/no
    moi and Gucci should have their own forum yes/no

    so come on?

    #524880

    @hostld wrote:

    @coathanger wrote:

    =D>

    Pssst…. I think Scep just likes to have a different opinion to others on most things…… :lol:

    True it’s simply what Scep does. :wink:

    8) 8) 8)

    I like to work through irony…

    Anita seems to be one of those characters who can only feel interesting if obnoxious..the real Anita is probably someone very very different..

    Having a different opinion on some things is important..stops complacency, though tiring to people with settled views of their world

    I work through irony, not to be interesting, but because i find life unpleasantly ironic.

Viewing 10 posts - 1 through 10 (of 228 total)

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