16 October, 2017 at 5:19 pm #1075463
Written last time I went on holiday
See the Sunshine
Pebbles on the beach salty water where they bathe
Stand against your feet, to and fro-ing of the waves
The sky is bright and warm, the breeze is gently tame
Summer in the air, you escaped the winter rain
Its quiet here and peaceful, through the birds that’s disturb the calm
Theres no phone no time no clock to wake up with its alarm
You climbed up all the rocks looking for your pot of gold
You were promised love and freedom because that’s that you were told
In this life, there may be spanners thrown into your way
You may feel great tomorrow but total shit today
Through illness, loss – rejection or troubles with romance
Lifes full of twists and turns, a headless chicken dance
Now there are no voices, and the beauty is all here
The whole world is your oyster truth is suddenly so clear
The future can be sunshine wherever you may be
This world may throw you lemons, you can drink them happily.
Amended and added onto original to written in 2007
You go back to real life and the coldness of winter
You know you were wrong to not get rid of that splinter
it festered it lingered and was no good to you
But you just carried on just like most people do
Begotten so rotten and so lacking unclear
so overwhelmed with your pain you lost all clarity dear
when you wake up and every day has clouds
no applause no respect you don’t bow to crowds
Did you ever want love from so many or so few
They are so angry you think its always about you
they say you seek attention but then give you so much
I’m a little bunny rabbit trapped in your nasty bunny hutch
You can love me or hate me that just tells me a lot
I have obviously got something you have not
STOP making me more important than I am
You trolled me you ate me in a baguette with salad and ham
We all like to giggle have fun and do our thang
when chat is really boring with nothing happening
funny is funny but going to far is too far
I would like to run you over with my car
LOL that was a reference to one of my other poems
I look forward to going away even though I am fearful
And going away without my kids makes me a little tearful
But at the end of the day I want to venture out
And remember what life and the worlds about
My online persona is not really who I am,
Come on most of you think I’m some grotty old man
I brought up two kids it was hard on my own
Now I’m sitting here in an empty house all alone
I booked a trip that I hope will challenge me to strive
To want to actually enjoy being alive
Because the very truth is I haven’t felt any desire to exist
And that is how I’ve felt sober not pissed17 October, 2017 at 10:02 am #1075536
There is a future for you
Just look to the light
When you return from your trip
Then you will find Mr right
There is someone out there for you
Keep looking and you will see
They might just surprise you
Whoever they might be
My poetry is not as good as yours
It does not rhyme or scan
Poetry comes from the heart
Our futures have no plan
This poem isn’t finished
More verses there will be
These verses are in that future
For those we’ll have to see
1 member liked this post.17 October, 2017 at 1:29 pm #1075539
Very good xxx
Impressed x17 October, 2017 at 2:04 pm #1075542
Hugs and winks.
Awesome, ahh been huding ur beautiful talent. Thank you for sharing.xxxxx18 October, 2017 at 10:25 am #1075641
The sun is out…have the clouds shifted? Is this just life’s mortal way……
of telling life’s passing through the sun dial of the day?
One can not always feel from the temperature on the skin…because although it’s important…..real feeling comes from within.18 October, 2017 at 2:10 pm #1075686
The sun is out…have the clouds shifted? Is this just life’s mortal way…… of telling life’s passing through the sun dial of the day?
Im not happy though as i ruined a perfectly good poem by adding complete nonsence. Not even sure it makes sense and if its just a totally different poem altogether.
I must go back to just having titles given to me when i write other than writing off the top of my head crap that seems to lately only go one way.
Writers block would often be better than some of the miserable bollocks i type in a poem. Never had writers block. Often would be better if i did.18 October, 2017 at 11:33 pm #1075770
That’s a difficult poem to comment on, Sarah.
Like the curate’s egg – some good, some not so good.
Parts of each poem are good – I wouldn’t say you added rubbish to the first poem.
Your poems are sometimes like letters to a person who has been both important and disappointing to you in the past. Hopes and let-downs.
Still, they are (on the whole) poems. I’ve always said that you have a talent.
Why not work your feelings into a theme whihc at first sight has nothing to do with them.
For example, you wrote about marbles and stuck to the theme – it was a poem about marbles, but at the same time ot was about much more than marbles. That was one of yours I really liked.
I’m not going tos et a theme – that’s for you to decide.
You might want to see a dvd called Poetry – but it is subtitled. It’s about a woman on the verge of dementia (much older than you, in other words) who goes to a creative writing class where they are all set a poem. It’s about how she ends up being the only one in the class to write a poem – and a powerful one it is. The poem is about the rape and suicide of a schoolgirl by her grandson (his mum had gone to another town, leaving him to be looked after by gran) and his schoolmates. A poem is her way of handling her deep sorrow for the victim and deep shame for her grandson.
Does this post make sense to you?19 October, 2017 at 12:03 am #1075772
Makes perfect sense x