sorry fella’s couldn’t resist

1. What do you call a man with half a brain?

Gifted

2. How did the angry guy try to kill his pet bird?

Threw him off a cliff.

3. How does a man help with housework?

Lifts his legs so you can vacuum.

4. What’s the difference between a man and E T?

ET called home

5. What’s the difference between bonds and men?

Bonds mature

6. What did God say after he created man?

I could do better

7. Why do men like BMWs?

They can spell it

8. How does a man turn on the lights after sex?

He opens the car door.

9. What does a smart guy do in an M&M Factory?

Proofread

10. What is a man’s favorite 7 course meal?

A hot dog and a six pack.

11.Why did the man fill his waterbed with beer?

He wanted a foam mattress

12. What do you call 10 guys sitting in a circle?

A dope ring

13. Why is it good that there are female astronauts?

When the crew gets lost the woman will ask for directions

14. Why is psychoanalysis a lot quicker for men than women?

When it’s time to go back to his childhood he’s already there

15. How do men define a 50-50 relationship?

She cooks I eat, she cleans I dirty, she irons I wrinkle

16. What is the thinnest book in the world?

What men know about women.

17. How does a man take a bubble bath?

He eats beans for dinner.

18. What’s a man’s idea of foreplay?

A half an hour of begging.

19. How do you save a man from drowning?

Take your foot off his head

20. Why are blonde jokes so short?

So men can remember them.

21. What do men and beer bottles have in common?

They’re both empty from the neck up

22. How can you tell if a man is happy?

Who cares

23. How many men does it take to change a roll of toilet paper?

We don’t know it never happens

24. Why do men always have stupid looks on their faces?

Because they are stupid.

25. How are men and parking spots alike?

The good ones are always taken and the ones that are left are

handicapped.
:?