Useful Information

@mrs_teapot wrote:

@jen_jen wrote:

No Mrs T, Claire wasn’t Minnie the Minx, that was another of F3’s “characters”.

In that case then Claire I apologise… a case of mistaken identity.

Sorry I was misinformed.

That’s how the demonisation that Scep talks of works. Someone gets a bad name justly or not, and then is blamed when not guilty. Credit to you Mrs T for checking your error and apologising.

I’m not here to bury Claire, nor to praise her. She’s been good company to me in chatroom, meet and one to one. And she’s also been downright annoying and out of order.

As has been said, neither ‘side’ in the various disputes have covered themselves with glory, and I’ve found myself on the receiving end of her anger – but never abuse – when I’ve told her she’s gone too far or in the wrong. I’ve also been on the receiving end of anger and abuse from those who have been arguing with her of whom there have been quite a few.

I wish her good luck as I’ve wished everyone in JC. Life, chat and people move on. I hope JC1 is better for her presence.

*lays a floral tribute, sings a sad song and walks away thoughtfully . . . 8)

@sceptical guy wrote:

Jen, you’re a woman whose judgement and maturity has won my respect. Nobody claims Claire was Miss Sweet and Lightness, but if your judgement of Claire starts and ends with her cruelty, then that’s a measure of how bad things must have become. If you’ve seen demonisation at work, it succeeds when the victim does become an actual demon (I’ve seen that in my life!). It sounds as though Claire was right to finally leave – the alternative was just too horrible. One alternative I saw in real life was the defeated guy literally grovelling at the feet of a bully ‘foreman’, begging for mercy for his family; the bully looked as though he had a hard-on. Claire was too tough and dignified to end up like that.

Scep, I sit in judgement of no one. None of us knows the person behind the words on the screen or what makes them behave the way they do unless we pm them and take time to find the real person. I have spoken to so many “abusers” in pm, got to know them, found out what was going on in their lives to make them behave in the way they did. It didn’t excuse the behaviour, of course it didn’t, but it was very insightful.

I haven’t judged or demonised Claire at all; I don’t see her as a demon or a bad person. I have seen her chatting when she’s been friendly, funny and lit up the chat room…I like that side of her. Unfortunately it’s the other Claire that I have seen more of, the cruel and vicious Claire – as I said in my post, it is by her own admission that she behaves that way when she’s bored and she loves the conflict. I pointed this out not to demonise her for I don’t think of her that way at all, but to say that if people have made her life uncomfortable in f3 (something which I abhor by the way; if you don’t like someone use your iggy button, that’s what it’s there for!) then to lay all the blame at their feet without acknowledging that, to a degree, she brought it on herself with her own behaviour, would be equally unjust.

Someone gives abuse, someone replies in kind and so the vicious circle begins…and slowly it becomes the norm, what many people come into chat for, leaving the decent chatters either persevering, despairing or leaving. No chat room will ever be free of abuse but I hope that those that come in with good intent continue to persevere for there to be some sort of balance in the chat room.

@rogue trader wrote:

aah claire ok
claire as always been sound with me
sure we have had a few run ins over the years
but have always resolved our differences
i miss our phone calls,but i can still pm
she doesnt solely reside in jc dontchaknow
my fair appraisal of claires traits would be
in no particular order and subsequent to mood swings
depending on who is peeing her off at the time,would be
funny,feisty,fair,outrageous,argumentative,sarcastic,controversial etc
but one thing she never is,is boring
p,s claire will love this thread about her
and i know she will be laughing at all her detractors
laters claire xxx.

I’m sure she’s having a big laugh at her supporters too :wink:

anyway, as I am snared in my work, I got that off me chest :)

@kent f OBE wrote:

There are usually over 100 chatters in Room 3 on most given times, there is room enough for everyone. Ok abusers rule the roost somtimes and yes we should ALL iggy when that happens but it won’t happen. Some of us moan about the abusers to feel better, some of us iggy them, some iggy and still moan :lol:
I’m feeling uncomfortable on Clairegate, but I guess that’s the nature of the boards. Let’s blame LD for mentioning her :lol:
What I will say though, at least Claire says what she wants/feels (rightly or wrongly, mostly wrongly)in the room. The ones that take great joy in someone being abused and make the snidey comments and snidey laughs whilst abuse is going on are far far worse than her.

As someone who rarely frequents JC in her ‘own’ name anymore, because of abuse, I agree with your last statement, Kenty. Direct abuse from one person doesn’t bother me. What hurts more is the bandwagon approach … and sometimes from the unlikeliest chatters.

I cannot abide bullying. Or cowardice.

I just thought today was a good day to mention ‘tolerance’.

@annette-curtain wrote:

No one likes bullies Su… and having been on the receiving end ,more times than i care to remember ( as have many in the room ) I have finally learnt to adapt a hard , thick skin , say my piece, and then Ignore.

Also Su , as for not coming in , in your ” own ” name , surely that is cowardly – and letting the Bullies win?

You get in there, in your own name woman !! ya hear me ! I have actually been wondering why you hadn’t been in tut ! Although i am well aware there is another new chat room… and why not use it …… but come on missus, let me see you in the room sometimes, in your ” own ” name …and to hell with the abusers, and bullies x x x

* gets off soap box and goes off to have lunch * :wink:

Actually … some people DO like bullies. That disturbs me, perhaps more than the bullying itself.

However, not going in under my own name is not from an act of cowardice … you know me better than that. I always have been a feisty little moo and that will never change.

No … what I do now is more selective. I choose my timing to suit my own purposes and not others’ agenda. A sort of personal ‘ignore feature’ if you like!

But I do hear you. :o) and I shall perhaps frequent a little more. (If it makes you feel any better, I rarely go into the new chatroom either. Same reason).

Take care xx