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  • #427202

    “Over their irregular roofs would fall throughout the seasons,
    the shadows of time-eaten buttresses,
    of broken and lofty turrets,
    and, most enormous of all,
    the shadow of the Tower of Flints.
    This tower, patched unevenly with black ivy,
    arose like a mutilated finger from among the fists of knuckled masonry
    and pointed blasphemously at heaven.
    At night the owls made of it an echoing throat;
    by day it stood voiceless and cast its long shadow.”

    Mervyn Peake

    #469911

    For rogue trader

    One man has already been hospitalised after eating the offending horse
    burgers.
    His condition is described as ‘stable’.

    Tesco’s have stated that their burgers are safe.
    I suppose that’s the mane thing.

    Last night I ate a Tesco burger, an Iceland burger and a Farm Foods
    The Tesco Burger won by a nose.

    after reading the label on Tesco burgers I was surprised to see 
    that they are fairly low in fat but very high in Shergar.

    I ate some Tesco burgers last night. They gave me the trots.

    I hear the veggie burgers have been found to contain traces of unicorn.

    Something’s been nagging me about those Tesco burgers for a while now.

    I just checked my Tesco burgers in the fridge – and they’re off

    I had a Tesco burger last night. I’ve still got a bit between my teeth.

    The news about the Tesco burger scandal is getting worse.  They have now found traces of Zebra in the bar codes :lol:

    #516337

    Snow , snow and more snow….love it ! 8)

    ” ….January brings the snow, makes our feet and fingers glow…..”
    :lol:

    #517196

    @Welsh fem 1 wrote:

    @moonshadow wrote:

    iv been told you went to the police about me?I did fall in love with you,but as far as i know you did with me?

    Message from Mario ….. Hes not been in touch with police he wud not waste his time on u :roll:

    Puts another dimension on the lyrics to the song ……..I’m being followed by a …………

    :shock: 8-[

    #496500

    Internet friends send these kinda things!

    I want to thank all of you for your educational e-mails over the past year. I am totally screwed up now and have little chance of recovery.
    I no longer open a bathroom door without using a paper towel, or have the waitress put lemon slices in my ice water without worrying about the bacteria on the lemon peel.
    I can’t sit down on the hotel bedspread because I can only imagine what has happened on it since it was last washed
    I have trouble shaking hands with someone who has been driving because the number one pastime while driving alone is picking one’s nose.
    Eating a little snack sends me on a guilt trip because I can only imagine how many gallons of trans fats I have consumed over the years.
    I can’t touch any woman’s purse for fear she has placed it on the floor of a public restroom.
    I MUST SEND MY SPECIAL THANKS to whoever sent me the one about rat poop in the glue on envelopes because I now have to use a wet sponge with every envelope that needs sealing.
    ALSO, now I have to scrub the top of every can I open for the same reason.
    I no longer have any savings because I gave it to a sick girl (Penny Brown) who is about to die for the 1,387,258th time.
    I no longer have any money, but that will change once I receive the £15,000 that Bill Gates/Microsoft and AOL are sending me for participating in their special e-mail program.
    I no longer worry about my soul because I have 363,214 angels looking out for me, and St. Theresa’s Novena has granted my every wish.
    I can’t have a drink in a bar because I’ll wake up in a bathtub full of ice with my kidneys gone.
    I can’t eat at KFC because their chickens are actually horrible mutant freaks with no eyes, feet or feathers.
    I can’t use cancer-causing deodorants even though I smell like a water buffalo on a hot day.
    THANKS TO YOU I have learned that my prayers only get answered if I forward an e-mail to seven of my friends and make a wish within five minutes.
    BECAUSE OF YOUR CONCERN, I no longer drink Coca Cola because it can remove toilet stains.
    I no longer buy petrol without taking someone along to watch the car so a serial killer doesn’t crawl in my back seat when I’m filling up.
    I no longer use Cling Wrap in the microwave because it causes seven different types of cancer.
    AND THANKS FOR LETTING ME KNOW I can’t boil a cup of water in the microwave anymore because it will blow up in my face. Disfiguring me for life.
    I no longer go to the movies because I could be pricked with a needle infected with AIDS when I sit down.
    I no longer go to shopping malls because someone will drug me with a perfume sample and rob me.
    And I no longer answer the phone because someone will ask me to dial a number for which I will get a phone bill with calls to Jamaica , Uganda , Singapore , and Uzbekistan
    I no longer buy cookies from Woollies since I now have their recipe.
    THANKS TO YOU I can’t use anyone’s toilet but mine because a big black snake could be lurking under the seat and cause me instant death when it bites my butt.
    AND THANKS TO YOUR GREAT ADVICE I can’t ever pick up a £2 coin dropped in the parking lot because it probably was placed there by a sex molester waiting to grab me as I bend over.
    I can’t do any gardening because I’m afraid I’ll get bitten by a Whitetail Spider and my hand will fall off.
    If you don’t send this e-mail to at least 144,000 people in the next 70 minutes, a large dove with diarrhoea will land on your head at 5:00 p.m. tomorrow afternoon, and the fleas from 120 camels will infest your back, causing you to grow a hairy hump. I know this will occur because it actually happened to a friend of my next door neighbour’s ex-mother-in-law’s second husband’s cousin’s best friend’s beautician . ..
    Oh, by the way…..
    A German scientist from Argentina , after a lengthy study, has discovered that people with insufficient brain activity read their e-mail with their hand on the mouse.
    Don’t bother taking it off now, it’s too late.
    P.. S.: I now keep my toothbrush in the living room, because I was told by e-mail that water splashes over 6 ft. out of the toilet.

    #517271

    @rogue trader wrote:

    problems
    are you suffering from ignorance?
    do you get scared when people say hi wb

    as claustrophobia tightenrd your insides?
    as your paranoia reached fever pitch?
    nothing at all to say?
    scared of danny?
    call us now on cosy,m,com
    we are happy to help.

    :lol:

    #517270

    Hilarious!

    8-[

    #364116

    Rock Video of the Year – 2012 Loudwire Music Awards

    No Reflection

    http://youtu.be/3xYxn8ZU_Wc

    Warning ! Bit scary ! But it only pretend !

    #517076

    @rogue trader wrote:

    this is what my five a day did to me grrr

    Bravo ! Cosy ! You Jolly Green Giant !

    :shock: :lol:

    #517183

    @mrs_teapot wrote:

    @pepsi wrote:

    Tel shoos…and tea leaves …

    Oops! Sorry I have strange sense of humour …

    As you were …. ( obligatory smiley :lol: )

    Errrm….. I hope that’s not a reference to me? I have no connection (and never have had) to the person who calls himself Terry.

    We do miss the wit of Panda on these boards….but I’ve come to understand things are never as they seem here.

    Not at all ! I can’t see any connection. :lol: It was purely a play on words!

Viewing 10 posts - 1 through 10 (of 1,074 total)