@eva licious wrote:
On Monday morning my phone rang with the news that my mother had died, next i proberly should explain my mother left wen i was 4 and i havnt saw her sinse, i remember her a little but have no photos ect so cant really b sure my memory is reliable i for some reason think i remember the smell of her perfume.
So next is the thing i am wondering usually i cry at a sad episode of neighbours and am quite emotional so i cant help but wonder why i’m not crying in a heap in the floor but if anything i feel no real sense of grief and pretty much feel nothing, friends are being really nice but i think they expect me to be in hysterics and i keep wondering if i should fake tears as this may look more normal i feel so guilty like the worst daughter in the world sometimes i truly dont understand ME.
We’ll talk more later honey but for now…
Don’t feel guilty. You hardly knew her and that was through no fault of your own. If I’d learned that a close relative I’d never known had died, I’d feel the same. Feeling like you SHOULD grieve and yet, you can’t.
Just take your time, don’t force yourself and above all else, take care of you.
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