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A big suprise for the people of Dover this morning when the Japanese olympic windsurfing team arrived 16 months early.
I just rung my Japanese friend to make sure he was okay after the Tsunami and all he did was go on about his social life.
Just kept going on and on about a huge rave
I was always in trouble as a kid. I used to hate the feeling of my dad’s belt buckle smacking against my arse cheeks, especially as he was still wearing it.
@wakeupdeadisgodlike wrote:
I was always in trouble as a kid. I used to hate the feeling of my dad’s belt buckle smacking against my arse cheeks, especially as he was still wearing it.
Explains lots :P
Some girl I shagged a while back text me saying “Boy do you have thick sperm!”
I text back “Why? Can you still feel it stuck in your throat?”
“No”, she replied ” I’m pregnant and it has downs syndrome”
As a teenager reading the porno mags, my favourite shot was where she was draped seductively on the bonnet of a car. Much later, I saw it in real life. It wasn’t nearly as sexy as I remembered.
After the second wank I got bored and called an ambulance.My suggestion of running a ‘spot the ball’ competition as a fund raiser, didn’t go down too well on the testicular cancer ward.
I got a new pair of Meatloaf boxers. On the front it reads “I would do anything for love…” And on the back, “…but I won’t do that!”
I woke up last night to find the ghost of Gloria Gaynor standing at the foot of my bed.
At first I was afraid…….then I was petrified.I found a Siamese group on Facebook earlier.
I couldn’t bring myself to click ‘join’.
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