23 October, 2018 at 11:04 am #1108376
Cor I can still recall the summer of 1990 when I almost lost my virginity.
Times dates had been discussed and I walked to the chemist chest puffed out.
I walked in as cooly as I could and started surveying the rubbers.
My mind was so elsewhere a alien could have been behind the counter.
Then I heard oh hi such and such hows your mum?
It was Sandra from my mums darts team!
This mission had to be abandoned forthright too.
id be staring at the durex for 5 minutes or so, so its fair to say Sandra knew mu business there.
However I lost my nerve totally and bought some matey bubble bath and 2 whistling lollypops,Whose wrappers cant be used as contraceptives sadly.
Fast forward 4 years I almost lost my virginity again, But yes you guessed it theres a back story!
I was in a real dive of a pub and the game was on!
I had ran to the toilets and put my last 2 pounds in the durex machine.
I pulled the thing where they come out nothing there, And the machine had swallowed my last two pounds.
To resolve this situation was going to require tact.
There was say 40 people at the bar and I called the bartender over and whispered my predicament in his ear.
Look mate he said if your story is true come back Tuesday fornight and il refund your 2 quid from the durex machine in a uncalled for loud voice.
Drunken laughter filled the bar! God I felt such a fool.
Well cupid I said thanks for your help but I think the moment might have passed by then.
Next time il tell you how il almost lost my virginity at 33next time x23 October, 2018 at 1:06 pm #1108378
My my milky. Lol…
I had similar issue as well. Very early on..my mum’s generation I assume… never taught me about birds and bees. Learned from teachers in school..
Being sent home from school one day..scared and frightened as I thought I had illness..mind u 9 and half years old..my mum sent me for a walk to get sanitary napkins near our local chemist you call them. We call pharmacy.. not knowing what to look for..embarrassed to say it …did not go to woman at counter too many around. So waited and waited till register cleared..no one in store about 45 minutes…and silently and nervously asked..whew..
Moving few years forward..I went to a local pub with my girlfriends. Oh gosh..from no where..that time of month. I had similar issue..whispering around..no one had anything..so going to bathroom..needed change to purchase..omg..nothing available. I asked a female bar server and she had none. Well I needed to go home. A nice looking bloke over heard my predicament. I was then embarrassed.. Proudly he said I take care of you. Back storage room he goes. Coming out smiles to smiles told me to give him few moments to fill up area. Handed me one for free for my inconvenience.. now in dire need..not caring..rushed to toilet. Now mind you at that point in time not to familiar with a men’s toilet. Dashing in I said..funny looking sinks, what only 2 stalls…? It was then a few men came in. I locked my door and stayed in stall then again 20 minutes..listening to men’s conversation about woman…oh that interesting. When gone..snuck out door..
Now when I was 33..I tell you that story next time. To be continued……
- This reply was modified 4 months ago by lindaclemenza7.
1 member liked this post.23 October, 2018 at 5:47 pm #1108385
Milky…. have you actually lost it yet ???
Poor Linda, 9 and a half is sooooo young, still a baby23 October, 2018 at 6:31 pm #1108388
Milks it could be so much worse as you could be Mr Q and still have ya virginity 😂😂😂23 October, 2018 at 7:02 pm #1108389
shushhhhhh if you say the name you’ll summon it back, like Mad Magdalena ……24 October, 2018 at 6:02 am #1108397
Yes mooosey it was early. Lord did I have issues with it for many years..25 October, 2018 at 2:39 pm #1108432
Pictures milky walking into the chemist……………….Silently milky
slipped the condom over his erect penis, rolled it down the entire length of his throbbing shaft, never once losing eye contact with the young woman as she stared at him in wide eyed , jaw dropping disbelief . . . . . . . . .
Then breaking the silence milky spoke . . .
‘Yes , that seems to fit alright, I’ll take the whole packet please
Reminds me when i was at school we were having biology lessons about sex,reproduction etc some poor lad asked the teacher could he use an empty crisp packet for a condom!! the mind boggles hahaha
1 member liked this post.25 October, 2018 at 2:44 pm #1108433
Too funny sophia….imagine when he tries on… that rice krispies effect.. crack..snackle and pop…sound. heeeeeee..
Oh my …..
1 member liked this post.25 October, 2018 at 6:39 pm #1108440
how times change in 1990 he considered him self a bit of a stallion
these days he travels to America just to get laid25 October, 2018 at 7:01 pm #1108441
The first girl I ever went out with picked me up at a party when I was 19.
The party was a very middle-class affair, with a Czech flag flying in the room – Czechoslovakia had been invade recently, and everyone who wanted to protest while remaining respectable wanted to show that they too believed in ‘socialism with a human face’.
As a young and immature teenager, obviously just in from the boat, I was the centre of attention of a number of women who all seemed older than i was.
One woman – who turned out to be a psychiatrist, bagged me. Lucky her. We dance, and she whispered the words of the song (hey, You’ve Got to hide Your Love Away) in my ear while nibbling on it. This made me feel very funny indeed., but when she asked to take me home I readily agreed as it was late and I didn’t think I could get a bus home.
On the journey, she looked a bit unhappy as I regaled her with historical information about the ILP and when we arrived at my lodgins, she stopped and put her head close to me.
What does this lady want? I thought. Does she want to kiss me? Noo, that would be rude. So I said right, I’ll be going now, maybe we can see one another next week.
Sure, was her reply, and as I climbed the steps ot the hotel and turned to wave goodbye with a big smile on my face, she had her head in her hand and had a weird soert of smile on her face.
Still, she was my future wife, and Friday couldn’t come quickly enough.
Friday came but though I sat in the living room of the hotel and was constantly looking out of the window, she wasn’t there. My future wife had jilted me!
A few moths later, I met someone who knew her, and informed me that she had decided to become a lesbian
I wondered why