19 January, 2018 at 11:01 pm #108577819 January, 2018 at 11:06 pm #108578119 January, 2018 at 11:17 pm #108578420 January, 2018 at 1:17 am #10857942 August, 2018 at 2:19 pm #1101452
Wouldn’t be bad if it was a child writing it, but it’s very poor for an adult to write such basic poetry. Perhaps you should obtain some form of education.
1 member liked this post.2 August, 2018 at 2:56 pm #1101455
a tad harsh.. Gjen.2 August, 2018 at 4:27 pm #1101457
It’s basically a poem based on a paedophile father returning drunk to abuse his kid, so for all those liking it, fair enough if that’s your area of interest. I’m not sure why an adult male would write about those sorts of things, but then a huge number on here are struggling to write at all so at least it’s an upgrade on that albeit a disturbing one.2 August, 2018 at 4:34 pm #1101459
The last line for eg “I hear him whisper “Your safe now son, your Daddies home!” with the exclamation at the end seems to derive humour in child abuse with an element of sarcasm thrown in to finish with. It’s no surprise the dimwits on here though regard it as an intellectual contribution as they probably don’t understand what it’s about just grateful words at the end rhyme with each other.
Incidentally, it’s you’re safe now son not ” your” so perhaps send it to sceptical or run the paedo poem through a spellchecker.2 August, 2018 at 5:00 pm #1101461
I really don’t care what the theme is. I’ve read a poem about bestiality with a goat, whihc earned poetry awards in the US – I can point it out if you’re interested???
Poetry, literature, treats the unspeakable – think of the rape of the 10 year-old girl by Stavrogin in Dostoevsky’s The Possessed, and the terrible screaming of the girl that she had killed God – she hung herself while Stavrogin was transfixed with fear in the next room..
It’s actually treated well here – the violence of the father toward the mother, the gentleness toward the son, the son’s fear of what’s about to happen. That’s quite complicated.
I could comment on the scansion, which leaves something to be desired, but it doesn’t matter. Also the lack of imagery. But again it’s not so important.
A while ago I was hypercritical of the poetry here. I regret that – I was being really snobbish.
Someone’s writing something down, and he’s writing something quite complicated down. Good.2 August, 2018 at 5:06 pm #1101463