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That was sh!t, thanks for wasting a few minutes of my life.
@anita Gofradump wrote:
That was sh!t, thanks for wasting a few minutes of my life.
compliments Anita? how very unlike you ;) :wink: 8)
Hi Mel
That was simply brilliant! Once again your ready wit and acute observation skills have really paid dividends! Well done Mel! :lol: :lol:
Take care
Susieann xx
Just wish i didnt sit reading it while my hubbys in the room :shock: He always gives me this strange look when i start to laugh out loud reading them lol
Mel have to say your post are brill
good post as always Mel xxx alway make me laugh xxx
:lol: :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol:
Well done again Mel you never. Your stories never fail to make me giggle
x x x
sounds as if you an i have a lot in comonn regarding computers mel. a lot of that rung true for me :lol: well done again
Subject: old jokes
7TH PLACE A Muslim was seated next to an Australian on a flight from London to Melbourne Australia. After the plane was airborne, drink orders were taken. The Aussie asked for a rum and coke, which was brought and placed before him. The flight attendant then asked the Muslim if he would like a drink. He replied in disgust, “I’d rather be savagely raped by a dozen whores than let liquor touch my lips.” At which point the Aussie handed his drink back to the attendant and said, “Me too. I didn’t know we had a choice.”
6TH PLACE. It was mealtime during a flight on a British Airways plane: “Would you like dinner?” the flight attendant asked the man seated in the front row. “What are my choices?” the man asked. ‘Yes or no,’ she replied.
5TH PLACE A flight attendant was stationed at the departure gate to check tickets. As a man approached, she extended her hand for the ticket and he opened his trench coat and flashed her. Without blinking an eyelid she said, “Sir, I need to see your ticket not your stub.”
4TH PLACE A lady was picking through the frozen turkeys at a branch of Sainsbury’s store but she couldn’t find one big enough for her family. She asked a passing assistant, “Do these turkeys get any bigger?'” The assistant replied, “I’m afraid not, they’re dead.”
3RD PLACE A policeman got out of his patrol car. The boy racer he stopped for speeding rolled down his car window. “I’ve been waiting for you all day,”the policeman said. The boy replied, “Yes, well I got here as fast as I could.” When the policeman finally stopped laughing, he sent the boy on his way without a ticket.
2ND PLACE A lorry driver was driving along on a country road. A sign came up that read ‘Low Bridge Ahead.’ Before he realized it, he went under the bridge and the lorry got stuck under it. Cars were backed up for miles.Finally,a police car arrives. The policeman got out of his car and walked to the lorry’s cab and said to the driver, “Got stuck, eh?” The lorry driver replied, “No, I was delivering this bridge and ran out of petrol!”
ANSWER OF THE YEAR A teacher at a polytechnic college reminded her pupils of tomorrow’s final exam. “Now listen to me, I won’t tolerate any excuses for you not being here tomorrow.
I might consider a nuclear attack or a serious personal injury, illness, or a death in your immediate family, but that’s it, no other excuses whatsoever”.
A smart-arsed jock at the back of the room raised his hand and asked,’What would happen if I came in tomorrow suffering from complete and utter sexual exhaustion? “The entire class was reduced to laughter and sniggering.
When silence was restored, the teacher smiled knowingly at the student, shook her head and said sweetly, “Well, I suppose you’d have to write the exam with your other hand.”
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