Poetry in motion…. no not Johnny Tillotson or Bobby Vee…

Winter sunset, a
jewel shining brightly in
a brooding dark sky.

*******************************

Christmas joy surrounds
a woman bereft, grieving,
so distant and numb.

– for my friend Dawn

I wanted to leave on a fair day
White clouds, blue sky
Sun-lit stream and peaceful wood,
Kind eyes to calm our fears.

Instead they gave us a grey day
Steel clouds to bar the sky
Cold wind to mock our tears.
The rain congealed in mud

This needs improvement, partly because it was written quite quickly, partly because I’m very far from the great poet I once dreamed I would be.

@jen_jen wrote:

Heart beating like drums
sounding the tattoo as I
lie, yearning your touch.

Hearing you arrive,
I flush, anticipation
overwhelming me.

Fantasy come true,
we embrace and absorb each
other till sated.

Do haikus presented together form a poem? :-k

a haiku mass

or a haiku anthology?

You is stretching mah narrow limits as an amateur lit crit, Ms Jen

But

at the risk of being accused of dissing,

er (for Irish Lucy)

if it’s all one poem, it’s not a haiku, which demands very strict rules.

Or they are three haiku on a theme

or er (Irish Lucy, note),
it’s a syllabic poem in which the verses use the haiku form?

Nothing wrong with syllabic long poems, Try Marianne Moore’s In Distrust of Merit if you want to see one of those take off into the wow zone

@jen_jen wrote:

Hmmmmm revisiting it now I think it’s three haikus on a theme. Interesting thought though…

That works – three on a theme.

But if you run them all together, it’s a poem – just not a haiku.

The rules of verse are quite complicated, but they’re made to be broken. That’s why anyone with an ear can write a good poem, and some can write a wow poem.

But a haiku is very strict in its rules. I think three of us have had fun with them though, coz they’re nice to play with – poetic version of the I Ching

cert, I think it’s been done, the blank page, but maybe not. Time to make your name!!

Breaking rules is what it’s all about, though you need to know the rules first if you’re going to break them maybe? Depends, I guess.

The haiku rule is supposed to be very strict, though I’m no expert and don’t know why.

I just checked it in The Princeton Encyclopedia of Poetics, and the haiku 3 liner is just the norm., not the rule. In fact, haiku developed as breaking the rules of courtly poetry, stressed humour initially, and became a one liner. It was only when it developed in the US in the 1940s and 50s (the Yanks were convinced that the haiku was connected with Zen Buddhism, which was all the rage among the Beatniks of the time) that the three-liner became the norm, and it’s not universal.

So, Ms Jen, you are a natural revolutionary, and have produced a 9 line haiku.

My only problem now, is

what’s your haiku about????? :shock: