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A little guy goes into an elevator, looks up and sees this absolutely huge guy standing next to him.
The big guy sees the little guy staring at him, looks down and says,
”7 feet tall, 350 lbs, 20 inch penis, testicles weigh 3lb each, Turner Brown”
The small guys eyes rollback, he faints and falls flat on the floor..
The Big dude kneels down and brings him to, by slapping his face and shaking him.
He asks ”are you ok??”
In a very weak voice the littl guy says, ”excuse me, but what did you just say to me?”
The big dude says.
”When I saw the curious look on your face, I just figured I’d give you the answers to the
questions everyone always asks me.
I’m 7 feet tall, weigh 350lbs, have a 20 inch penis, my testicles weigh 3 lbs each and my name is Turner Brown”
The small guy says,
”Thank God!!! I thought you said Turn Around.
lol here’s another one..
A lady walks into a high class jewellery shop. She browses around, spots a
beautiful diamond bracelet and walks over to inspect it. As she bends over
to look more closely she inadvertently breaks wind.Very embarrassed, she looks around nervously to see if anyone has noticed
her little accident and prays that a sales person doesn’t popup right now.As she turns around, her worst nightmare materialises in the form of a
salesman standing right behind her.Cool as a cucumber and displaying complete professionalism, the salesman
greets the lady with, “Good day, Madam. How may we help you today?”Very uncomfortably, but hoping that the salesman may just not have been
there at the time of her little ‘accident’, she asks, “Sir, what is the
price of this lovely bracelet?”He answers, “Madam, if you farted just looking at it, you’re going to
shyte yourself when I tell you the pricelmao mary. :D :D
that was supoosed to msay shyte himself… why oh why is s hit being turned into hot chocolate..?? it aint a real offensive word surely….
Nova Scotia’s turn!!!!
Recently a routine police patrol parked outside a Bar in Halifax. After last call the officer noticed a man leaving the bar so intoxicated that he could barely walk. The man stumbled around the parking lot for a few minutes, with the officer quietly observing. After what seemed an eternity and trying his keys on five different vehicles, the man managed to find his car which he fell into. He sat there for a few minutes as a number of other patrons
left the bar and drove off. Finally he started the car, switched the wipers on and off (it
was a fine,dry summer night) –flicked the blinkers on, then off a
couple of times,honked the horn and then switched on the lights. He moved the vehicle forward a few inches, reversed a little
and then remained still for a few more minutes as some more of the
other patron vehicles left. At last, the parking lot empty, he pulled out of the parking Lot and started to drive slowly down the road. The police officer, having patiently waited all this time, now started up the Patrol
car,put oN the flashing lights, promptly pulled the man over and carried out a Breathalyzer test.
To his amazement the Breathalyzer indicated no Evidence of the
Man having consumed any alcohol at all!
Dumbfounded, the officer said, “I’ll have to ask you to accompany
me to the police station. This Breathalyzer equipment must be
broken.”
“I doubt it,” said the truly proud Nova Scotian. “Tonight I’m
the designated decoy.”
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