When a tradesman finishes a job at a house in Scotland, it is an old custom to offer him a wee drink. ‘Would you like a wee dram ” the lady-of-the-house asked a joiner. ‘A wouldna’ say No,’ he replied.
The lady produced the bottle. ‘How do you like it, Sandy?’ she asked.
He replied: Half whisky and half water. An’ pit in plenty o’ water.
More gentle stuff like this at:
http://www.rampantscotland.com/humour.htm