Dear Mr Teapot,
I do hope that you will keep this correspondence private and I will be brief (there’s a first time for everything!). Could you please let Mr Trawler believe that you’re after him for a little while longer? It won’t take much longer for me to entice him into my cabin and I have such delights planned for him.
Your assistance in this matter would be very much appreciated and I will of course repay it in full. I make a mean spag bol, just-a like-a mamma used to make-a.
Please pass my fondest regards to your lovely wife.
Yours,
Jen