Forum Replies Created
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Posts
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@pete wrote:
I thought Sally had a bloody deep hole :?
:shock: I always say that to make the men seem more interested! :lol:
@kent f OBE wrote:
i like the donkey gazlan…..much easier on the eye and he always makes me laugh :lol:
F u c K Gaz, think she’s after dating your Donkey! :lol:
@tinks wrote:
I’ve got a big splinter in my hand and i gotta get it out
:shock:
Have you ever had one that big in your hand before?.. :-
@kent f OBE wrote:
at least you had one! was one of the things i always wanted but never had
i would pop it now if i sat on it :lol:Had about four I think.. My grandfather worked for a company, and was always on the rob.. S’ok, he was caught for it, so i can mention it.. :lol: They just never appealed to me. If only i’d known you sooner, i’d have given you one.. And a Space Hopper.. :lol:
Suppose.. Don’t think i’d use one to go to the shops though.. Too Over-Rated for that!
What?.. Gladiators?.. :lol:
@gazlan wrote:
Well your not alone ….. :D
Why is the donkey in your siggy, telling me to go kill the neighbour?..
Could never use one of those properly, i’d always fall off..
Angels..
@susieq wrote:
These are actual complaints :roll:
These reminded me of the excellent Monty Python Sketch – Travel Agents.
“We bought ‘Ray-Ban’ sunglasses for five euros (£3.50) from a street trader, only to find out they were fake.”
reply,
Shame they didn’t sell pamphlets for idiots!
“We booked an excursion to a water park but no-one told us we had to bring our swimming costumes and towels.”
Reply..
We do apologise, most of our customers arrive at their destination with most things.. Common Sense is one of them! :lol:
“On my holiday to Goa in India, I was disgusted to find that almost every restaurant served curry. I don’t like spicy food at all.”
Reply..
We do apologise, there is A Non-Spicy option.. You can F u c k Off..
It’s lazy of the local shopkeepers to close in the afternoons. I often needed to buy things during ’siesta’ time – this should be banned.”
“I think it should be explained in the brochure that the local store does not sell proper biscuits like custard creams or ginger nuts.”
reply,
We’re not a fekking Biscuit Factory, We’ll take up five pages in the brochure to inform you of the pointless things we don’t sell.
“I was bitten by a mosquito – no-one said they could bite.”
Reply,
Normally the mosquito’s themselves warn you, but unfortunately, like you, these ones were foreign.
“We had to queue outside with no air conditioning.”
Reply,
We would like to inform our customers of something known as Air. You may have been told about this at some point in your life.
“We found the sand was not like the sand in the brochure. Your brochure shows the sand as yellow but it was white.”
Reply,
Try coming in the summer, and not the winter..
A guest at a Novotel in Australia complained his soup was too thick and strong. He was inadvertently slurping the gravy at the time.
There’s always one..
“The beach was too sandy.”
reply,
we do have many complaints, such as the water is too watery, parents throwing their kids to the sharks, and then not getting them back..
A woman threatened to call police after claiming that she’d been locked in by staff. When in fact, she had mistaken the “do not disturb” sign on the back of the door as a warning to remain in the room.
How many drinks did she have again?..
“There are too many Spanish people. The receptionist speaks Spanish. The food is Spanish. Too many foreigners.”
Reply,
we apologise for this, but you missed the “One Ethnic minority at a time season”..
“The brochure stated: ‘No hairdressers at the accommodation’. We’re trainee hairdressers – will we be OK staying here?”
Reply,
We appreciate your questions.. We suggest you get a dictionary, and look up the words “Derrrr” and “Dumb”..
“My fiancé and I booked a twin-bedded room but we were placed in a double-bedded room. We now hold you responsible for the fact that I find myself pregnant. This would not have happened if you had put us in the room that we booked.”
reply,
we take full responsibility for your partners penis accidentally slipping into you.
“Topless sunbathing on the beach should be banned. The holiday was ruined as my husband spent all day looking at other women.”
Reply,
we understand how upsetting this must have been. We will forward your letter to “Make me look better.com”.. you ugly insecure cow!
“It took us nine hours to fly home from Jamaica to England it only took the Americans three hours to get home.”
Reply,
Americans are our best customers, and we have the right to give them priority. Maybe you should move to america.
“No-one told us there would be fish in the sea. The children were startled.”
Reply,
not as startled as the fish were.. Mr and Mrs Chav, who’s fekking kids were a nuisance. Ps, your hubby left his Burberry cap in the chalet.
i would pop it now if i sat on it :lol: