2nd Dress Rehearsal

The Don washed down her prozac pills with a few swigs of Gin…
” This bloody panto will be the death of me ….. Right, places everyone !!!”, she roared
down her megaphone. Unfortunately ForumHost NippleStuds had just breezed past in her Genie costume, looking like Barry White with tlts, and was now on her way to A&E with bleeding from the ears.

Moonpig.com had aroused from her Sleeping Beauty slumbers and was blaming her need for a nap on ‘ a little prlck ‘
” oh come on now Moonpig, you can’t blame mario for everything ha haaa haa haaa ” chuckled The Don.

Mr Patacrap was a bored little mouse and went for a quick slash behind a pumpkin.
” oy ”
”oops sorry Anita Getalife your erm costume is so life like”.
Anita Getalife made a lunge for Mr Patacrap.
” Not so fast Pumpkinpooface ” yelled Welchy the Grape… ” hands off me little Pat, if anyones doing any bootin round ere its me like …”
and she drop kicked the Pumpkin into the dress circle.

” In the back of ones net !!” trilled Penny for a Guy as she punched the air.

”Bring on the carriage” bellowed The Don, who was taking her role as Director very seriously
and was now sporting a stick on handlebar mustache and waving a riding crop.

EDDIE the beagle, Findingweemo, Mcfooked and Mr Patacrap started pulling Cinders carriage
on to the stage.
” heaveeeeeee….. heaveeeee…. heaveeeeee…”
The carriage had moved an inch. The mice were sweating.
”Put your backs into it fgs ” yelled The Don.
After 45 minutes the carriage was on the stage.
The mice were being given oxygen.
NicePies_female was resplendant as Cinders in a crystal encrusted silk gown with ruffles and glitter.
” Theres something similar to that frock hanging from the ceiling in the tea room at The Ritz” stage whispered Penny for a Guy.

Bound and gagged, sat next to Cinders in her carriage was Prince Charming.
He looked spaced out yet somehow quite, quite terrified at the same time.
Cinders was giggling coquettishly and stroking his thigh.

” Thats quite enough of that Cinders… its a Panto not a p0rno !!” hollered The Don.

Joker, who had done his own make-up, resembled Penguin from the Batman movies. He had stuffed a couple of free range turkey crowns down his top, determined to have a fuller bossom than Alfie.
Alfie had his curly red wig on back to front, a definate improvement and it also stopped the stage lights reflecting off his incredibly large shiney head.

Filterchat who was playing The Hunchback of Notre Dame, was swinging about up in the rafters trying to get a glimpse down Snow Whites clevage.
Snow White was sharing a tin of newcy brown with Mcfooked….” ha wayyyyy man ” she cackled and tapped Mcfooked on the back, sending him tumbling into the orchestra pit.

Tucker had been given the part of Captain Hook. Sleeping Beauty was facinated and kept stroking his strangely curved appendage…. ” ooooo Tuckie its sooo smooth and …… pointy ” she giggled.

Nobody had the nerve to tell The Don that Laine, who had been cast as The Fairy Godmother
and Jimmy Dooo Onesheeeeeet had eloped and were, by now, traveling on Jimmy’s private jet to the Amazon forest to educate pygmies on the importance of filing ones nails correctly and reading Wordsworth.

” Right everyone…”roared The Don through her megaphone… ,”get ready for the Grand Finale….

And someone clean that cow shlt up !!!! ”