A JOKE

A drunken man walks into a biker bar, sits down at
the bar and orders a drink.
Looking around, he sees three men sitting at a corner table.
He gets up, staggers to the table, leans over, looks the biggest,
meanest, biker in the face and says: “I went by your grandma’s
house today and I saw her in the hallway butt naked. Man, she
is one fine looking woman!”
The biker looks at him and doesn’t say a word. His buddies are
confused, because he is one bad biker and would fight at the drop
of a hat.
The drunk leans on the table again and says: “I got it on with
your grandma and she is good, the best I ever had!”
The biker’s buddies are starting to get really mad but the biker
still says nothing.
The drunk leans on the table one more time and says,
“I’ll tell you something else, boy, your grandma liked it!”
At this point the biker stands up, takes the drunk by the
shoulders looks him square in the eyes and says……….go home grandpa

OK, so a man walks into a bar with a large box, the bar tender goes up to him and asks “whats in the box”.

The man says “I’ll show ya’ if you get me a beer.”

So of course the bar tender gets the man a beer, the man drinks it, and he pulls out a little foot tall man and he pulls out a little piano. The little man starts playing the piano!

Next the bar tender asks “hey! thats prety cool, where did ya’ get that?”

The man says” I’ll tell ya’ if you get me another beer.” So the bar tender gets the man another beer, the man drinks it, and he says “I got it from a geenie and a lamp”

The bar tender says “If ya’ let me barrow that geenie and that lamp I’ll give ya’ another beer.”

The man says “Oh, Okay!”

The bar tender gets the man another beer, the man drinks it, and the man gives the bar tender the lamp.

The bar tender rubs the lamp and the geenie pops out!

The geenie says “Master, I grant you one wish, what is it?”

The bar tender says “I wish for a million bucks!!!” And all of a sudden a million ducks start flying into the room. “What the heck is this!!! I wished for a million bucks not a million ducks!!!”

And the man says “Well did you think I wished for a 12 inched pianist!”

A man was sitting at a bar enjoying an after-work cocktail when an exceptionally gorgeous & sexy young woman entered. She was so striking that the man could not take his eyes away from her. The young woman noticed his overly-attentive stare & walked directly toward him.

Before he could offer his apologies for being so rude, the young woman said to him, I’ll do anything, absolutely anything, that you want me to do, no matter how kinky, for $100 on one condition.’

Flabbergasted, the man asked what the condition was.

The young woman replied, ‘You have to tell me what you want me to do in just three words.’

The man considered her proposition for a moment, withdrew his wallet from his pocket & slowly counted out five $20 bills, which he pressed into the young woman’s hand.

He looked deeply into her eyes & slowly, meaningfully said…
‘Paint my house.’