Thanks and Happy New Year ( this is great LOL!!!! cheza)

Many thanks to all those who have sent me e-mail in 2007……..

I must give my thanks to who ever sent me the one about rat shit in the glue on envelopes because I now have a to use a wet towel with every envelope that needs sealing..

Also, I now have to scrub the top of every can I open for the same reason.

I no longer have any savings because I gave it to a sick girl (Penny Brown); who is about to die in the hospital for the1,387,258th time.

I no longer have any money at all, but that will change once I receive the $15,000.00 that Bill Gates/Microsoft & AOL are sending me for participating in their special e-mail program.

Or from the senior bank clerk in Nigeria who wants to split 7 million dollars with me for pretending to be a long lost relative of a customer who died intestate.

I no longer worry about my soul because I have 363,214 angels looking out for me & St. Theresa’s Novena has granted my every wish.

I no longer use cancer-causing deodorants even though I smell like a water buffalo on a hot day.

Thanks to you, I have learned that my prayers only get answered if I forward e-mail to seven of my friends& make a wish within five minutes.

Because of Your concern I no longer drink Coca-Cola because it can remove toilet stains.

I no longer can buy gas without taking a friend along to watch the car so a serial killer won’t crawl in my back seat when I’m filling up.

I no longer go to shopping malls because someone will drug me with a perfume sample & rob me.

I no longer answer the phone because someone will ask me to dial a number for which I will get a phone bill with calls to Jamaica,Uganda,Singapore & Uzbekistan.

Thanks to you, I can’t use anyone’s toilet but mine because a big brown spider is lurking under the seat to cause me instant death when it bites my ass.

And thanks to your great advice, I can’t even pick up the $10.00 I found dropped in the parking lot because it probably was placed there by a sex molester waiting underneath my car to grab my leg.

If you don’t send this e-mail to at least 144,000 people in the next 70 minutes, a large dove with diarrhea will land on your head at 5:pm this afternoon & the fleas from 12 camels will infest your back, causing you to grow a hairy hump.

HAVE A HAPPY NEW YEAR!!