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  • #17643

    An Australian, an Irishman and a Scouser are in a bar.
    They’re staring at another man sitting on his own at a table in the corner.
    He’s so familiar, and not recognising him is driving them mad.
    They stare and stare, until suddenly the Irishman twigs: ‘My God, it’s Jesus!’
    Sure enough, it is Jesus, nursing a pint.
    Thrilled, they send him over a pint of Guinness, a pint of Fosters and a pint of bitter.
    Jesus accepts the drinks, smiles over at the three men, and drinks the pints slowly, one after another.
    After he’s finished the drinks, Jesus approaches the trio.
    He reaches for the hand of the Irishman and shakes it, thanking him for the Guinness.
    When he lets go, the Irishman gives a cry of amazement: ‘My God! The arthritis I’ve had for 30 years is gone. It’s a miracle!’
    Jesus then shakes the Aussie’s hand, thanking him for the lager.
    As he lets go, the man’s eyes widen in shock.
    ‘Strewth mate, the bad back I’ve had all my life is completely gone! It’s A Miracle.’
    Jesus then approaches the Scouser who says,
    ‘Back off, mate, I’m on disability benefit.

    #496525

    whats the difference between a lesbian in a porno film,and a lesbian in real life?

    about 12 stone.

    i cant beleive my best mate gavin as died of severe heartburn

    gav is gone.

    every mans dream,daughter on the cover of vogue,son on cover of football weekly,mistress on cover of playboy,wife on cover of missing persons :;-)

    #496526

    oh sorry first joke i put on didnt realise you couldnt say pawn lol

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