a pre-wedding tale

I have been engaged for almost a year and am to be married next month.

My fiance’s mother is great. She is putting the entire wedding together and invited me to her place to go over the invitation list because it had grown a bit beyond what we had expected it to be.

When I got to her place, we reviewed the list and trimmed it down to just under a hundred. Then she shocked me.

She said that in a month I would be a married man and that, before that happened, she wanted to have sex with me. Then she just stood up and walked to her bedroom and on her way said that I knew where the front door was if I wanted to leave.

I stood there for about five minutes and finally decided that I knew how to deal with this situation. I headed out the front door.

There, leaning against my car was her husband, my future father-in-law. He was smiling. He explained that they just wanted to be sure I was a good lad and would be true to their little girl. I shook his hand and he congratulated me on passing their little test.

I kept it to myself that I thought their “little test” was assinine bullsh*t, but I’m marrying their daughter, not them.

I also kept to myself that the reason that I was walking out to my car was to get a condom…..