BOHEMIAN RHAPSODY……….GORBALS STYLE

Is this the real life? Is it the methadone?
Stuck in the Gorbals, two bob fur the telephone?
Open yer wine, an’ talk wi’ a whine like me
Um just a weeji, gie us yer Sunny D
Cos I’ll chib yer pal, rip yer da, slash yer dug, ride yer ma!
Any way the Clyde flows, disnae really mater tae me…..tae me.

Haw maw, just chibbed some bam
Buckie bottle tae the heid
An noo the f**kin’ b**stards deid!
Haw maw, um just oan parole
An noo I’m headin back tae Barlineeeee…

Haw Maw, oohooh ooh
Never meant tae steal yer purse
But if I’m no fu’ o’ smack this time the morra’
Carry oot, Carry oot!
An we’ll go oot on the batter!

Too late, the bailiff’s here
Sends shivers doon ma spine
Gubbed 10 jellies just in time
Goodbye all ma muckers, I’ve got tae go
Got to go and rip some w*nk fae up the scheme
Haw Maw, oohooh oooh
I’m a jakey bam I sometimes thin I’ve never been washed at all

I see a little silhouetto of a bam
Adidas! Adidas! Can ye get us a kergo?
Thunderbird, White Lightening, very very frightening to me!
Twenty Mayfair, Twenty Mayfair, Twenty Mayfair and some skins
Magnifico oh oh oh oh!

I’m just a fat boy, nae body loves me
He’s just a fat boy fae a fat family!
Spare us a pound for a wee cup o’ tea?
Gat tae f*ck, skanky slob, will ye get a job?
For f*cksake NO I will not get a job
Get a job
For f*cksake I will not get a job
Get a job,
Will not get a job
Get a job
Will not get a job
no no no no no…..

Oh gonorrheoea! gonnorrhoea! gonnorhoea and the clap!
Then doon the pub, has the barman put aside for me?
For me, for meeee!

So you hink ye can slash me a pish in ma eye?
So ye hink ye can chib me an leave me tae die?
Haw bawbag, can’t dae this tae me bawbag!
Just wait till I’m oot, just wait till I’m right oot ma nut!!

F*ck all really matters, anyone can see
F*ck all really matters…..
F*ck all really matters tae meeeeeee.