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how many times ave u thought u could trust a person 100%, uv told them ur life story, yr secrets then weeks months down the line u find out they wernt wot u thought they were you regret gettin to know them on such a personal level and if the worst happens everthing they know about u bcomes public knowledge, u just needa read some of the boards in here and sometimes in the main rooms to know it happens

of course real friendships can happen but caution i feel is advised xx

@a certain sadness wrote:

How much of yourself would you be prepared to share with a total stranger online. Can you really trust someone youve never met, as im sure weve all had our fingers burnt in the past.
I can have a sense about someone where for some reason i just know i can trust them.What is it about these people.

I’m always slow to reveal myself to other people, both in real life and on-line…I guess it’s the fear of being judged and found wanting, which goes back to childhood (ooops…did I just reveal something about myself there? :lol: )

After 5 years of chatting I’d say there’s only 1 person in here who really knows me. Many might think they know a lot about me but if they pooled it all together they’d find they really don’t know a lot at all. Very few know my real name and even fewer know what town I come from. Is that a lack of trust on my part? In some ways yes, I don’t want to run the risk of people I’ve never met just turning up; having said that on the few occasions that people have said they’re in my area, could they pop in to the shop to say hi, I’ve welcomed them with a cup of tea and, if they’re lucky, a biscuit and if they’re really lucky (or unlucky!), a hug before they leave.

There is a difference to pouring your heart out about something that has upset you because you just need someone, anyone, to listen while you get it off your chest and developing a friendship where you really reveal yourself to the other person though. The latter requires trust and some people just seem to be more trustworthy than others. Sometimes someone can seem nice in chatting but some sixth sense kicks in and you just know to be wary and that sixth sense is ignored at your peril. Then you find yourself chatting to someone where you just connect, no obvious reason why, but it just feels “right”. Is it that they are down to earth, grounded? Or that they are empathetic and supportive? Or that they reveal themselves to you too, so you feel that you’re on an equal footing? Who knows?

For all that though, I still live by the maxim: if you would be embarassed or ashamed to see it in the public arena, don’t share it. That goes for real life as well as on-line. :lol:

@irish_lucy wrote:

@a certain sadness wrote:

If i showed you what happened to me, the traumas that have happened in my life, and if you listen and accept and support me in them…then you may begin to understand why i think and behave as i do.

I like this. But prefer regina brett’s – if everyone threw their problems in a pile, and everybody got to see everyone else’s, you’d quickly grab yours back.

Ain’t that the truth!