Glesga fowk

A small zoo in Glasgow acquired a very rare species
of gorilla. Within a few weeks the gorilla, a
female, became very difficult to handle.

Upon examination, the veterinarian determined the
problem. The gorilla was in season. To make matters
worse, there was no male gorilla available.

Thinking about their problem, the Zoo Keeper thought
of Bobby McKay, a local lad & part-time worker
responsible for cleaning the animal cages.

Bobby, like many Glasgow folk, had little sense but
possessed ample ability to satisfy a female of any
species. The Zoo Keeper thought they might have a
solution. Bobby was approached with a proposition.
Would he be willing to mate with the gorilla for
£500 ? Bobby showed some interest, but said he would
have to think the matter over carefully.

The following day, he announced that he would accept
their offer, but only under four conditions:

1. ‘First’, Bobby said, ‘Ah’m no gonnae kiss her on
the lips.’ The Keeper quickly agreed to this
condition.

2. ‘Second’, he said, ‘Ye cannae never tell naebody
aboot this.’ The Keeper again readily agreed to this
condition.

3. ‘Third’, Bobby said, ‘I want all the weans raised
as Celtic fans.’ Once again it was agreed.

4. ‘And last of all’, Bobby stated, ‘You gotta give
me another week to come up with the £500′