Hospital charts

Ive seen a few of these before in various emails but there a couple of different ones in this one that got me chuckling

:lol: ‘HOSPITAL CHARTS’
These are actual writings from various hospital charts.

1. The patient refused an autopsy.
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2. The patient has no previous history of suicides.
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3. Patient has left white blood cells at another hospital.
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4. She has no rigors or shaking chills, but her husband states she was very hot in bed last night.
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5. Patient has chest pain if she lies on her left side for over a year.
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6. On the second day, the knee was better, and on the third day it disappeared.
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7. The patient is tearful and crying constantly. She also appears to be depressed.
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8. The patient has been depressed since she began seeing me in 1993.
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9. Discharge status: Alive but without permission.
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10. Healthy appearing decrepit 69-year old male, mentally alert but forgetful.
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11. Patient had waffles for breakfast and anorexia for lunch.
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12. She is numb from her toes down.
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13. While in ER, she was examined, x-rated, and sent home.
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14. The skin was moist and dry.
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15 Occasional, constant infrequent headaches.
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16. Patient was alert and unresponsive.
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17. Rectal examination revealed a normal size thyroid.
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18. She stated that she had been constipated for most of her life, until she got a divorce.
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19. I saw your patient today, who is still under our car for physical therapy.
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20. Both breasts are equal and reactive to light and accommodation.
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21. Examination of ‘rude bits’ reveals that he is circus sized.
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22. The lab test indicated abnormal lover function.
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23. Skin: somewhat pale but present.
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24. The pelvis exam will be done later on the floor.
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25. Patient has two teenage children, but no other abnormalities.
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