New and Shiny ‘Dispute Resolution’ Service for JustChat!

@amelia wrote:

Dear Mr Arbi-dodah…

Thank you for providing the boards with a “dispute resolution” thread. May I congratulate you on astute realisation that this facility was lacking.

If I may, I feel you may have missed a few categories. I’ve taken the liberty to outline these below.

Men who think they’re women but are in fact 12 and not really men at all – V – Women who think they’re women but are in fact a little bit skanky and really shouldn’t be allowed to breed. (this is a popular category from what I’ve seen)

Men who are a bit verbose and pretentious – V – Women with a decent lexicography

Lovely people (i.e. me..natch) – V – other lovely people (there must be some – somewhere)

Obviously, as senior Arbi-dodah, your decision on how to resolve these disputes will be just and fair and I look forward to reading your report on how these will be integrated into daily use.

With kindest regards

Amelia

Dear Amelia,

Thank you for your suggestions.

Whilst my existing system may appear a little simplistic, I would argue that therein lies its beauty (i.e. the whole process requires very little effort on my part). That said, I do recognise there may be situations which require at least some thought – and with this in mind, I have decided to appoint an assistant.

Applications are now invited for the post of ‘Assistant to the Chief JC Arbitrator (Alternative Dispute Resolution Division)’.

This is an excellent opportunity for those who have nothing better to do. The long term goals are exactly the same as the short term goals and there is absolutely no prospect of career progression. The successful candidate will have honed their interpersonal skills over at least 15 minutes in JC and be able to provide historical evidence of their ability to hit the ground crawling and to go the extra millimetre.

Your Sincerely

OMalley
Chief JC Thingymawotsit