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The open window and the breeze coming in
Setting goosebumps upon my skin
Taking into myself all those words so unkind
Im breathing deeply to refresh my mind
I sit here and I remember what I hold in my hand
All the people I love and the needs they demand
And all this reality where I am who I am but they don’t care
They want me to be dead and are not even aware
That I wish I was dead too, it’s really not about you
You hate me and talk about my woes to make me sad
I don’t even care that you are evil and bad
Maybe you see what I feel, that I’m miserable and how my grief is real
Maybe you see that with all my pain there is no way to ever heal
Maybe when you tell me to kill myself you actually sing
Maybe you see that I am suffering, and ringing on the bell ding
Maybe the trolls that pursue me, can see something that I can’t see
Maybe my trolls are actually good for me
Maybe they are right and I really should die
They’ve told me I killed my baby so that a good reason why
So maybe they are right.
No they are not right miz….nasty gits xx
Mizzy, reading your suffering, feel it with you.
Not sure what has made you feel so down and write this way when your other poems usually focused, bright and cheerful in my eyes and opinion.
If about here we both have been used for entertainment. Turning to strangers, sharing honesty at lowest points of our life we make them feel good, we feel worse by it.
But a few have supported and strengthened us. You longer here,people have come to you, show the love for you.. Few have openly shared and helped with me as well as I have less experience. Some have turned away from me too, do not want to be bothered. it truly hurts, but we must move forward. Friendships too are not easy especially when those do not believe we are honest.
Be well mizzy. You are a good person.Linda, I don’t think Mizzy’s other poems are bright and cheerful. they are very ironic and angry – angry in a subterranean sense.. That’s why I like them.
Having to cope with bereavement is very difficult. One of my friends lost her son when he was in his 20s. She just won’t talk about it, refuses point-blank.
When I was in a less awful situation with a child – still pretty bad – I did find comfort in the Kahlil Gibran book, The Prophet, recommended by Echo (I refuse to call her Nemesis, as Echo is so much nicer). A friend swore by the book, and she pointed to a passage in it whihc said that you never lose a child. They are always there, always looking to you, and they find you when you think of them and care for them in your heart. That comforted me a lot. Not fully – it can’t. But a lot.
Sceptical Guy
Thanks for reply. I have not seen many of mizzy’s only a few.I will look into book offered by echo, and you read.
Fully too understand grief and beverament. What had to do for my own mom when hospice not able to reach me for her.
Some people’s anger are different then other’s. Reaching out for help people not always expressive by verbal, use written means.
The depth of your greif matches the height of your love.
The trolls that trolled Mizzy (and me) last night have my pity, all they have in their lives, their souls is hatred. They need to spew their vitriol in order to feel better about themselves. Tis the same comments all the time, tedious repetition, twisting the facts, feeding off rumours and misinformation.
I, for one, will never let the heartless comments of these sad individuals stop me being me, or baring my soul.
Let them spew their bile, I hope it makes them feel better about themselves, what they say doesn’t affect me, I know the truth and so do the people that matter. What these trolls think, do, and say has no impact on me or who I am but obviously who I am does to them.
2 members liked this post.
NEMESIS
Our office has been having problems with phones since 3am.
Glad home now, as shouted out “You go girl..” all would have looked at me and thought she finally lost it. Unfortunately at times have to be stern and stiff for what we here do.Could have never expressed it better than that.
Mizzy and you should be allowed to say how you feel openly when having a passion strong about something. People want to join should be allowed as long the intent is honorable. Reading enough now, many often had said “Can simply ignore he or she, will go away, do not reply, pm me.” Like the rest of us does not know what that means? Even me! Hanging on to force engagement the trill of the hunt is what they are seeking. Simple old entertainment. For those, go away watch your television whose performers train and act for living. Here is real, emotions not trained, simply not an act. Not paid for it.
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