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Posts
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@toybulldog wrote:
Need an interesting yet unusual feature for your next dinner party ?
Then train a hedgehog to scuttle up and down the table dispensing food to each guest.
Perfect for cheese + pineapple and you’ll be the envy of all your friends.
.
Will give it a go :D
Next door’s car aerial, carefully folded,
will prove the ideal solution when having an emergency coat hanger crisis..
@toybulldog wrote:
Next door’s car aerial, carefully folded,
will prove the ideal solution when having an emergency coat hanger crisis..
Only if not alarmed
A mouse trap, placed on top of your alarm clock, will prevent you from rolling over and going back to sleep after you hit the snooze button.
If you have a bad cough, take a large dose of laxatives, then you will be afraid to cough.
Clumsy? Avoid cutting yourself while slicing vegetables by getting someone else to hold them while you chop away.
Avoid arguments with the Mrs. about lifting the toilet seat by simply using the sink.
For high blood pressure sufferers: simply cut yourself and bleed for a few minutes, thus reducing the pressure in your veins. Remember to use a Timer.
Have a bad toothache? Smash your thumb with a hammer and you will forget about the toothache.
If you are thinking about writeing a letter to the queen ?
this is how it should be addressed.To the Private Secretary to her majesty the queen.
Other Rolyalty letters to other members of the Royal Family
should be addressed to their Equerry, Privte Secretary , or
Lady-in-Waiting .THIS ONE IS FOR THE MEN.
To remove old urine stains from your undies,
soak the garment for an hour in a mixture of
one part hydrogen peroxide to six parts water.
with a few drops of ammonia added , then wash in machine as usual..Add a pinch of salt when boiling milk for making custard.
This gives it the ” ice cream ” taste that children love ..Thought custard only came in tins ready made :lol:
pass yourself off as Welsh in 4 easy steps. . . .
Apply coal dust behind fingernails while talking non-stop gibberish.
Stop occasionally to sing loudly and then set fire to someone’s house..
@toybulldog wrote:
pass yourself off as Welsh in 4 easy steps. . . .
Apply coal dust behind fingernails while talking non-stop gibberish.
Stop occasionally to sing loudly and then set fire to someone’s house..
Oi! :evil:
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