[AbitofMary_J]

Icon…. whats an icon… i certainly don’t look up to anyone in celebrity status etc… they don’t pay my effin bills…. my icons are my grandfather, my mother and my big brother…

Kate who… pete who… she looks under fed and well older than her 30 years, Pete waste of space anyone else whom have his string of convictions would be banged up for atleast a few years….

[AbitofMary_J]

@beeker wrote:

Just passing through and I thought id stick my nose in

Twas my birthday yesterday so im suitably hungover…just had a full breakfast so im waiting to see if it will kill or cure…hope you are all fit and healthy…

take care
russ 8)

belated birthday greetings Beeks long time…. my birthday this Sat… im FIRST na na na na @ AW lol my pre celebratings start 2moz…. with my m8 doin me hair then there takin me for me dinner n a glass or 100 of bubbly…. lol then ill wake up fri be dyin so will need a curer, and no doubt 1 drink will turn into ten…. then on sat wake up with kids jumpin on me… hangover happy birthday to me a few times… gettin taken for me lunch… then im meetin up with friends and guess wot drinkies…. ill be on the voddies n red bull by then…. then sunday will come… and say all again to do for next yr lol and starts the next birthday countdown lol

[AbitofMary_J]

lol what would you know DOA…. lol come on enliten us Woman you seem to hold all the answers…..
your a wealth of knowledge,

[AbitofMary_J]

@~*Lucky*~ wrote:

@abitofmary_j wrote:

@rubyred wrote:

lol oi u takin the p’ss oot of MA SORE KNEEEE lol

oh Mary Mary.quite contrary. Would I be as cruel as to tease you over your sore joints :)

hows does my weed grow…. lol
not long till im fit as a fiddle and back to the Karma Sutra jumpin fae the wardrobes lol

slapper :P :lol:

image callin Rubes a slapper Lucky …. tsk for a moment I thought u where thinkin of me lol

[AbitofMary_J]

ACTUAL LETTER TO PROCTOR & GAMBLE ~

Attention: James Thatcher,
Brand Manager, Proctor & Gamble Feminine Hygiene Division

Dear Mr. Thatcher,

I have been a loyal user of your Always maxi pads for over 20 years and I appreciate many of their features. Why, without the LeakGuard Core(tm) or Dri-Weave(tm) absorbency, I’d probably never go horseback riding or salsa dancing, and I’d certainly steer clear of running up and down the beach in tight,
white shorts.

But my favorite feature has to be your revolutionary Flexi-Wings. Kudos on being the only company smart enough to realize how crucial it is that maxi pads be aerodynamic. I can’t tell you how safe and secure I feel each month knowing there’s a little F-16 in my pants. Have you ever had a menstrual period, Mr. Thatcher? Ever suffered from “the curse”? I’m guessing you haven’t. Well, my “time of the month” is starting right now. As I type, I can already feel hormonal forces violently surging through me. Just a few minutes from now, my body will adjust and I’ll be transformed into what my husband likes to call “an inbred hillbilly with knife skills.” Isn’t the human body amazing?

As Brand Manager of Proctor & Gamble’s Feminine Hygiene Division, you’ve no doubt seen quite a bit of research on what exactly happens during your
customers’ monthly visits from “Aunt Flo”. Therefore, you must be well aware of the bloating, puffiness, and cramping we endure, and about our intense mood swings, crying jags, and out-of-control behavior. You surely realize it’s a tough time for most women. In fact, only last week,my friend Jennifer fought the violent
urge to shove her boyfriend’s testicles into a George Foreman Grill just because he told her he thought Grey’s Anatomy was written by drunken chimps.
Crazy! The point is, sir, you of all people must realize that America is just crawling with homicidal maniacs in Capri pants … Which brings me to the
reason for my letter. Last month, while in the throes of cramping so painful I wanted to reach inside my body and yank out my uterus, I opened an Always maxi-pad, and there, printed on the adhesive backing, were these words:

“Have a Happy Period.”

Are you f**king kidding me?

What I mean is, does any part of your tiny middle-manager brain really think happiness ~ actual smiling, laughing, happiness ~ is possible during a
menstrual period? Did anything mentioned above sound the least bit pleasurable? Well, did it, James? FYI, unless you’re some kind of sick S&M freak-girl, there will never be anything “happy” about a day in which you have to jack yourself up on Motrin and Kahlua and lock yourself in your house just so you don’t march down to the local Walmart armed with a hunting rifle and a sketchy plan to end your life in a blaze of glory.

For the love of God, pull your head out, man! If you just have to slap a moronic message on a maxi pad, wouldn’t it make more sense to say something that’s
actually pertinent, like “Put Down the Hammer” or “Vehicular Manslaughter Is Wrong”, or are you just picking on us? Sir, please inform your Accounting Department that, effective immediately, there will be an $8 drop in monthly profits, as I have chosen to take my maxi-pad business elsewhere. And though I will certainly miss your Flexi-Wings, I will not for one minute miss your brand of condescending bulls*&t. And that’s a promise I will keep ….Always.

Best Regards,
Wendi Aarons
Austin, Texas

.
now where does AW reside,,,,,,??? lol that u AW lol

[AbitofMary_J]

A blonde walks into a bank in London and asks to see the Manager. She says she’s going to Hong Kong on business for two weeks and needs to borrow £5,000. The Manager says the bank will need some kind of security for the loan, so the blonde hands over the keys to a new Ferrari. The car is parked on the street in front of the bank, she has the title and everything checks out. The bank agrees to accept the car as collateral for the loan. The Manager and the tellers all enjoy a good laugh at the blonde for using a £200,000 Ferrari as collateral against a £5,000 loan. An employee of the
bank then proceeds to drive the Ferrari into the bank’s underground garage and parks it there. Two weeks later, the blonde returns, repays the £5,000 and the interest, which comes to £15.41. The Manager says, “Miss, we are very happy to have had your business, and this transaction has worked out very nicely, but we are a little puzzled. While you were away, we checked you out and found that you are a millionairess. What puzzles us is, why would you bother to borrow £5,000?”

The blonde replies…

“Where else in London can I park my car for two weeks for only £15.41 and expect it to be there when I return?”

Hooray! A smart blonde joke at last!!

[AbitofMary_J]

@rubyred wrote:

oooooh GET HER and her steakey Pretty Maids all in a Row….

hows the herb garden doing anyway ?

its bloomin well… nearly like the day of the Triffords lol or fae the Scary Movie Feed Me.. lol

and GET YOU…. larger than life… u sure ur on the wagon… ?? lol

[AbitofMary_J]

@rubyred wrote:

well it went ower the heid o the bunty editor..! Im Still waiting on my prize coming through the door 35 years on :)

lol The Bunty that was a read… like Jackie eh lol

[AbitofMary_J]

@rubyred wrote:

hahahahaha !! ooh ffs i wasnt expecting THAT..gee whizz ! That was sooo funny..
Thats as bad as the joke i once sent in to the Bunty,,

what did the big orange say to the wee orange when it fell ?

A) Jaffa..

as in ja faw ” did you fall” ..I forgot everyone didnt speak scots :)

lol Ja Faw…. that joke will go rite o’er there heids lol

[AbitofMary_J]

@rubyred wrote:

lol oi u takin the p’ss oot of MA SORE KNEEEE lol

oh Mary Mary.quite contrary. Would I be as cruel as to tease you over your sore joints :)

hows does my weed grow…. lol
not long till im fit as a fiddle and back to the Karma Sutra jumpin fae the wardrobes lol

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