baloo

Where’s that friggin hamster I don’t know where its gone,

It may have gone a wandering but its been gone for far too long,

I pulled out all the furniture, I put water out and food,

I bought it such a lovely cage I think its very rude.

Jokes aside I’m worried for it is so very small, already pulled the bookcase out that was wedged up against…[Read more]

I love it when you lie to me

You’re not fat my darling

You’re perfect as you are

And no your weights not messing

With the suspension of my car

You have inner beauty

That’s all that I can see

Your hairs not dry and stringy

You’re wonderful to me

And of course that colour suits you

You must wear orange every day

I’m sorry that m…[Read more]

Chaos in fairy town

Things have gone awry in fairy town

The Hob Goblins took advantage when mother earth was not around

Father Christmas was in bed sleeping for he’d been on the job

And the fairy Godmother was visiting her cousin Bob

Noddy didn’t have any wheels, someone had stolen his car

The tooth fairy was knackered out from flyi…[Read more]

The beat is pumping the party is hot

She blows her nose, she is full of snot

She straightened her hair and make up was applied

Her friends said she looked great, the b**tards lied

There are mirrors on ceilings and some on the wall

These ridiculously high heels made her look nice and tall

If only she could actually move and walk…[Read more]