Bassingbourne55

Putin is probably a lot more intelligent and level-headed than Ahmadinejad. The best piece of advice Putin could give to Ahmadinejad is: “MMyh-loook, Mahmoud, H-when h-youurr peeeple h-say h-you are Mahdi, do not hh-leesten to them”!

Another related topic is the absurd contrasts that exist between laws.

In the USA every citizen has the right to carry a gun but online gambling is illegal and the national speed limit is 55 mph.

In Germany some of the autobahns have no speed limit, yet you can be fined for having a dirty car!

The familar London FX4 taxicab’s design was influenced by archaic regulations that stipulated that a bale of hay or straw had to be carried to feed the horse. Hence the rear boot was designed to accommodate the hypothetical and ridiculous bale. Passengers’ Luggage in London taxis is normally carried on a purpose-made area in the front next to the driver.

Billy Connolly is one of the funniest people on the planet, hes a legend!

Some people would say that about Des O’Connor! It means nothing. Billy Connolly was funny once, years ago. But now he’s stuck in a groove and is kept going by middle-aged admirers who think they’re cool because they like a man in black tights who walks about with a…[Read more]

You should have said “No, I hate them, I just bought them as drink mats.”

billy connolly???? jimmy carr??? jonathon ross???? do you have a sense of humour they are feckin quality how dareeeeeeee you

Rubbish, they are puerile rude egoists. Connolly made a sick joke about Ken Bigley that cleared a show when the audience walked out. He’s about as funny and as nice as the late Bernard Manning!

Did I put Jeremy Clarkson…[Read more]

Possibly more a case of mistaken identity – like they were looking for a specific person and wrongly thought this guy was him.

I’ve never ridden a motorcycle but I have been a car driver for 35 years and have also driven HGVs and I ride a pushbike quite a lot.

Not seeing something is a problem common to all categories of road users – pedestrians, cyclists, motorcyclists, car drivers, lorry and bus drivers. We can all fail to spot a hazard and must remind ourselves of…[Read more]

Well a man walked naked from Land’s End to John O’Goats a few years ago. He had numerous brushed with the law but in the end it was established that it was not, in itself, illegal to be naked in a public place although indecency laws can be used depending on what you might actually be doing while you are naked!!!

Russel Brand
Billy Connolly
Jim Davidson
Pete Dougherty
Germaine Greer
John McCririck
Jimmy Carr (lots of slaps)
Jonathan Ross
HRH The Duck of Edinburgh

…And I’m getting a bit tired of Lenny Henry too.

I also heard of a website that if you click on it automatically charges you £40, and you get the bill through the post.

Some countries face a choice between Islamist rule or secular totalitarianism. Given the choice, I think I’d plump for the latter.

1) Military dictatorship? 2) Corrupt populist democrat? 3) Taliban jihadists? That’s the choice in Pakistan. 3 is far worse than either 1 or 2 so I guess we should accept Musharref and Bhutto, warts and all – they are mere acne compared to the leprosy that is the Taliban.

Another fatal bomb blast in Pakistan today. While the world watches Afghanistan, Iraq, Iran and Israel, Pakistan looks like it’s quietly becoming a major flashpoint.

A political struggle is going on between a military dictator and a populist democratic contender, both of whom are friendly to the west. But all this is going on in a country where…[Read more]

Pakistan is ruled by a right-wing military government led by General Musharref and Ms. Bhotto is a pro-democracy liberal. They are political adversaries. The islamic fundamentalists who committed the bomb outrage yesterday (assuming they were befind it) are attacking both sides. They’ve tried several times to kill Musharref and now Ms.…[Read more]

I’m a militant atheist but I suppose it keeps the Christians out of trouble and it all looks benign and happy compared to what ‘that other religion’ gets up to.

I put milk in the kettle once by mistake!

As with its sworn enemy, Al Qaeda, the Iranian fundamentalist regime could inflict horrific damage on the west but this would ultimately bring about its own annihilation.

The word ‘ira’ is the Latin for ‘anger. And we have IRAn, IRAq, IsRAel, not to mention the IRA!

More important here would be new laws specifically drafted to control the powers or assumed powers of all religions. Chief among these would be:

1) No child is born a member of any religion. Nobody may be assumed to be a full member of any religion until the age of 18.

2) No religion may claim that any unverifiable superstitious beliefs are…[Read more]

Well, a perfect scenario – if the ‘racist Asian thugs’ and the BNP bullies fight each other, then perhaps the resulting mutual annihilation will leave the rest of us peace-loving Brits to breathe a bit easier.