[cath 55]

Battered Savs

Have you eaten out at a take-away?
Whether it be fish or chips that you have;
And have you ever spared a thought…
For that poor old … battered sav.

Now battered women you’ll read about,
And battered children as well;
But no-one speaks of the battered sav
And its life of torment and hell

This tale it is a simple one,
It’s not that hard to foller;
I was lined up for my fish and chips,
And saw the sign “Battered Savs… one dollar.”

The place was really busy that night,
In fact, it was fillet to the bream;
My old mate Trev Alley was in the line
And I was just ahead of him.

Now battering savs just wasn’t on,
The idea just left me aghast;
So I had a chat to the lass who was serving
… Marie … an old friend from my past.

“Why do you batter your savs?” I said,
“I thought you were nice peaceful folk;
Seems though.. you’re a bunch of sadists..
Or p’raps it’s some kind of sick joke.

Now Marie… she talks sorta fishy like,
Been serving seafood for too long;
“You’re a bit green round the gills there lan,”
She said, “Perchance there’s something wrong.”

“Why do you batter your savs? ” I said,
“Why can’t you just leave ’em alone?”
“We do it for the colour,” Marie said to me,
“So’s they’re nice and golden and brone.”

“Just mullet over, lan ” she said,
“A sav is red OK?”
“We batter ’em so’s they’re golden and brone,
‘Cos people prefer ’em that way.

“I don’t care about the cala marie,” I said,
… And the people behind me just chatted…
“I want a sav that’s been treated decently,
I don’t want one that’s been flamin’ well battered.’

Now we oyster go out together…
And some lovely times we’ve had;
I said, ” Do you batter these savs yourself,
Or do you leave the job to your dad?”

“Dad…. eel mix up a slippery batter,
‘Cos his mussels are bigger than mine;
Mine are tailor-made for the job,
Mum says I do it reel fine.

“And I like to do it, lan,” she said,
And her sweetlips showed not a glimmer of guilt.
I’ve got this bucket and rack out the back,
Dad had ’em porpoisely built.

I batter all sorts of things here,” she said,
I batter chicken and fish as well.”
And I always thought she was the peaceful kind,
But it just shows, you never can tell.

“Good Cod!” she said, “lan what’s wrong,
You’ve gone all pale and wan;
I don’t believe what I’m herring,” I said,
“I’ll flake out if you go on.”

“Ex-salmon carefully your conscience,
Your part in this……. your role,
And don’t be flathead having savs being golden,
Or you will flounder in your sole.”

“The whiting’s on the wall,” I said
And she looked at the sign “Battered Savs,
I stick up for the underdogs,” I said,
“The have-nots and not the haves.”

“Will you place your order,” the bloke behind said,
“Five minutes I’ve had to wait!
Do ya wanna battered sav or don’t cha,
Just make your mind up, mate”

Copyright; lan Mackay

[cath 55]

We’re Oh So… (a poem)
Russ Vaughn
We’re hip, we’re cool and oh so arty;
We’re Democrats, the smarter party.
We’re sophisticated unlike you;
We understand merci beaucoup.
We’re urbane while you’re provincial;
We’re worldly-wise, so existential.
We’re cultured, complex, so refined;
We’ve left you ignorant serfs behind.
We’re witty authors of clever puns,
While you clods cling to God and guns.
Were you not so closed and clannish,
We’d have you peons speaking Spanish.
We say all this with knowing smirks;
We’re Democrats, you red-state jerks

[cath 55]

sad song but i like it , had a stevie wonder cd on earlier aint heard it for ages …..

Lately I have had this strangest feeling,
with no vivd reasons here to find.
Yet the thought of losing’s been hanging, round my mind…
Far more frequently you’re wearing perfume,
with you say, “No special place to go”
But when I ask will you be coming back soon,
you don’t know, never know.

Chorus:
Well, I’m a man of many wishes,
I hope my premonition misses,
but what I really feel, my eyes won’t let me hide,
cause they always start to cry.
cause it’s time could mean goodbye.

2nd Verse:
Lately I’ve been staring in the mirror,
very slowly picking me apart.
Tryin’ to tell myself I have no reason, with your heart.
Just the other night while you were sleeping,
I vaguely heard you whisper someone’s name.
But when I ask you of the thoughts you’re keeping,
you just say, nothing’s changed.

repeat Chorus twice.

[cath 55]

@toybulldog wrote:

None of us are as clever as we think we are.

Sharon’s just more honest about it

ooooooooooooooo lol yer right tho lol xxxx

[cath 55]

@toybulldog wrote:

@sharongooner wrote:

Eels!

Eels up inside ya
Findin an entrance where they can
Eels up inside ya
Findin an entrance where they can

Boring through your mind, through your tummy, through your anus, eels!

Eels!

Eels (x14)

Give it up now!

Eels!

Eels, eels, give it up now!
Eels, eels, give it up now!

I was obselete
I couldn’t hear the beat
Staggerin about on me old mans feet
I had one foot in the grave
But now I’m nu rave!
But now I’m nu rave!

It’s a mash up!
Pie and mash up!

Elements of the past
And elements of the future
Comin atcha
I’m the hitcher
Let me put you in the picture!

Eels up inside ya
Findin an entrance where they can
Eels up inside ya
Findin an entrance where they can

Elements of the past and the future combining to make something not quite as good as either…

maybe if everybody petitions JC we can get her banned ?

just a thought………………wink-faced emoticon

bad norty doggie no walkies fer you if yer dunt behave!!! lol erummm rollin eyes emoticon……… innit!!!!

[cath 55]

@sunny wrote:

Dish clothes !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! do you soak them over night in bleatch lol i soak mine then throw them away after 3 days and start on new ones lol

I did try them blue things like paper that you can throw after every use but i couldnt wash my kitchen cupbards down properly every night so went back to the cloth ones lol

Would rather spend 286 every week on 3 packs of 10 then use a dish clothe nore than a couple of days lol

And i dont use tea towels any more to dry up use paper towels lol you get a lovely sparkle on them hubby gos mad saying i spen mmore on cleaning products that i do me self lol

The only thing that does me head in i only cleam my winows every 3 weeks would love to do them once a week but with working full time i dont get a chance :evil:

lol dishcloths get one use in my house then in the wash and yes im a bit of a bleach freak too lol, dont dry up but do have a special teatowel (s) for the glasses , i cant stand dirty smudgy glasses lololol……. oh and i just found flash degreaser too lol great fer the cupboards but make sure you rinse em too lol ……… spending money on cleaning products…. not as much as i used to lol but dunt stop me cleaning thoroughly at least once a week , i too work full time and am usually too knackered , know wot id like sunny clean freshly ironed sheets on me bed every day!!!! lololol xx

[cath 55]

@cbowen82 wrote:

Please help me with my dissertation research!

Hi! I am conducting research for my master’s dissertation and am looking for volunteers to fill out a 10 minute survey. It is mostly multiple choice and completely anonymous. If you are between the ages of 18-70 and identify yourself as British or American, then please click on the following link.

http://www.surveymonkey.com/s.aspx?sm=SiRw8Rz6W8FDj7fBKbtqrQ_3d_3d

Please fill this out and pass it on to all your friends and family who fit the above description, I need as many people as possible and am interested in everyone’s opinion. If you have any questions or concerns please feel free to email:

[email protected]

Thank you for you time

Christine Bowen
Brunel University

click on a strange link ay……hmmmmmmm let me fink bout that one…… :? :wink:

[cath 55]

@esmeralda wrote:

@sharongooner wrote:

But you have to be clever to know the poems and know what to look for, so I think it is very clever.

I wouldnt know where to start, so I just enjoy reading them on here. There’s the odd one or two that pop up and I know them, but the rest could be written yesterday for all I know, so to me its a sign of cleverness.

Then again I am thick though :wink:

I’m gonna give you a slap, Shazza. You’re an intelligent lass with an enquiring mind. All you need to do if you want to read good poetry or prose is head to your library..or look online. I enjoy your posts and contributions, so don’t be running yourself down! 8)

I second that sharon lol luffs ya loads xxxx ooooo an waves to esme ;)

[cath 55]

@sunny wrote:

Same here caff mind you im the only c00nt at work to take me overall home to wash they all let it get washed by the plce who does them

They never come back white i like to boil wash mine and keep them white and clean looking

sunny you sound like a lass after me own heart lol, i used to boil me lasses nappies to bits lol cant stand ‘off whites’ lolol gawd we gonna get slammed lol fer these posts xxxx and dunt get me started bout dishcloths!!!! :shock: :? :wink:

[cath 55]

@sunny wrote:

@sharongooner wrote:

I cant remember last time I could see through my oven door! :lol:

So its not glass then lol

Caff im doing me asda shopping tomorrow il have a look if she takes ofence tuff :twisted:

thing is sunny i take my cooker apart when i do it lol, just unscrew the screws to the glass grill bit and oven bit and pop it in the bag bluddy great, course if its real bad overnight might be an idea lol xx

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