[cath 55]

Albert and the Lion

There’s a famous seaside place called Blackpool,
That’s noted for fresh air and fun,
And Mr and Mrs Ramsbottom
Went there with young Albert, their son.

A grand little lad was young Albert,
All dressed in his best; quite a swell
With a stick with an ‘orse’s ‘ead ‘andle,
The finest that Woolworth’s could sell.

They didn’t think much of the Ocean:
The waves, they were fiddlin’ and small,
There was no wrecks and nobody drownded,
Fact, nothing to laugh at at all.

So, seeking for further amusement,
They paid and went into the Zoo,
Where they’d Lions and Tigers and Camels,
And old ale and sandwiches too.

There were one great big Lion called Wallace;
His nose were all covered with scars –
He lay in a somnolent posture,
With the side of his face on the bars.

Now Albert had heard about Lions,
How they was ferocious and wild –
To see Wallace lying so peaceful,
Well, it didn’t seem right to the child.

So straightway the brave little feller,
Not showing a morsel of fear,
Took his stick with its ‘orse’s ‘ead ‘andle
And pushed it in Wallace’s ear.

You could see that the Lion didn’t like it,
For giving a kind of a roll,
He pulled Albert inside the cage with ‘im,
And swallowed the little lad ‘ole.

Then Pa, who had seen the occurrence,
And didn’t know what to do next,
Said ‘Mother! Yon Lion’s ‘et Albert’,
And Mother said ‘Well, I am vexed!’

Then Mr and Mrs Ramsbottom –
Quite rightly, when all’s said and done –
Complained to the Animal Keeper,
That the Lion had eaten their son.

The keeper was quite nice about it;
He said ‘What a nasty mishap.
Are you sure that it’s your boy he’s eaten?’
Pa said “Am I sure? There’s his cap!’

The manager had to be sent for.
He came and he said ‘What’s to do?’
Pa said ‘Yon Lion’s ‘et Albert,
‘And ‘im in his Sunday clothes, too.’

Then Mother said, ‘Right’s right, young feller;
I think it’s a shame and a sin,
For a lion to go and eat Albert,
And after we’ve paid to come in.’

The manager wanted no trouble,
He took out his purse right away,
Saying ‘How much to settle the matter?’
And Pa said “What do you usually pay?’

But Mother had turned a bit awkward
When she thought where her Albert had gone.
She said ‘No! someone’s got to be summonsed’ –
So that was decided upon.

Then off they went to the P’lice Station,
In front of the Magistrate chap;
They told ‘im what happened to Albert,
And proved it by showing his cap.

The Magistrate gave his opinion
That no one was really to blame
And he said that he hoped the Ramsbottoms
Would have further sons to their name.

At that Mother got proper blazing,
‘And thank you, sir, kindly,’ said she.
‘What waste all our lives raising children
To feed ruddy Lions? Not me!’

Marriott Edgar

[cath 55]

If You’re Irish Come Into the Parlor

If You’re Irish Come Into the Parlor

In sweet Lim’rick Town, they say,
Lived a chap named Patrick John MoIIoy.
Once he sailed to U.S.A.
His luck in foreign parts he thought he’d try.
Now he’s made his name, and is a wealthy man,
He put a bit away for a rainy day;
So if you gaze upon
The house of Patrick John,
You’ll find a notice that goes on to say:

Chorus:
If you’re Irish come into the parlour,
There’s a welcome there for you;
If your name is Timothy or Pat,
So long as you come from Ireland,
There’s a welcome on the mat,
If You come from the Mountains of Mourne,
Or Killarney’s lakes so blue,
We’ll sing you a song and we’ll make a fuss,
Whoever you are you are one of us,
If you’re Irish, this is the place for you!

Patrick loved the girl he wed,
But he could not stand his Ma-n-aw,
Once with joy he turned quite red,
When she got into trouble thro’ her jaw.
Six police they had to take her to the Court,
She was informed a month she would have to do,
So Patrick quickly wrote
Up to the Judge a note
Explaining, “Sir, I’m much obliged to you!”

[cath 55]

@sharongooner wrote:

@minim wrote:

Pop socks???

How old did you say you were Sharon?

I think Toy mentioned in his first post that the offending invaders were wearing them.

Disgusting invention!!

lol sharon them n leggins ffs lol xoxoxoox

[cath 55]

Hey MJ hope all is well xxxx

[cath 55]

……..

[cath 55]

@emmalush wrote:

…why are there Irish people living in England? What is so bad about Ireland that you can’t bare to live there?

Is celebrating Ireland in England, integration? When you come to England, surely you must take on English life, its history, English culture etc

The amount of times ive been in a pub where the Irish are in big numbers and i hear anti-English songs and the Irish explaining why they hate the English, and i reply, why do you live in England…?

England is the greatest country on earth, everyone wants to live here.

raises a glass of guiness…….. cheers emma lol xxxxxx have a shamrock … :wink: :wink: hope your keeping well hun xxx

[cath 55]

@Sgt Pepper wrote:

Oh and a word of thanks to all for the fond wishes :) ..

Special mention to Cath for her wee ditties :wink:
xx

my pleasure sexy sgt :wink:

[cath 55]

@sharongooner wrote:

My gran will be singing sweet molly malone and danny boy, but then again it dont have to be paddys day, nor alcohol for her to have a sing song lol

lol sharon :D

[cath 55]

its been so long since i woz in there pats………. never did find me handcuffs :oops: :oops: :wink:

[cath 55]

@Sgt Pepper wrote:

Actually, Padraic is an acceptable spelling too.. used in many parts here. So don’t fret about it mo cuishla :wink:

Watch some Riverdance instead!

:P

fantastic sgt!!!! still gives me goosebumps that lol xx

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