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Thanks- it does have its up and downs, these are one of those times. We sat down and realized we both were too consumed by our own issues that we needed to take sometime apart and work on ourselves. If after this time we find we are past repair, we’ll go from there.
I’ll see you on the boards.
Thanks for everything in the end we have decided to separate, short-term or permanently is not yet decided.
My sentiments exactly.
I know, if my response came out too harsh it wasn’t meant to.
Adeboje,
I honestly don’t know if your serious or being sarcastic. I by the way know a lot of Nigerian women and they are very strong. Half my MSc class were Nigerian female doctors completing a second major. One left her four children with her husband back home to finish. As for meat, from what I’ve heard and seen vegetarians are usually more relaxed. And third I am from a male-dominant country the Me Tarzan you Jane is very common. But here comes the big but me completing my education and going abroad was my husbands idea. Not including my martial problems in this area my husband has supported my education and me working from day one of marriage. My staying home with my kids was my choice which he supported and when I wanted to work he supported that as well.
Keep in mind my friend your logic is why the name john bobbit is infamous. And just a funny (though mean spirited) story.Sorry Pete, thank ladies and gents. Honestly thanks to all for their input its helped released some stress talking it out.
Rules for Men
1. It’s important to have a woman who helps at home.2. It’s important to have a woman who cooks from time to time.
3. It’s important to have a woman who keeps the house clean.
4. It’s important to have a woman who has a job.
5. It’s important to have a woman who likes you.
6. It’s important to have a woman who can be your very best friend.
7. It’s important to have a woman who can make you laugh.8. It’s important to have a woman who you can trust, who doesn’t lie to you.
9. It’s important to have a woman who is good in bed.
10. It’s very, very important that these nine women do not know each other
Thanks ladies, I know I need to work on my own issues and then reassess my marriage, but easier said then done :wink: I have issues talking about my marital problems with anyone I know because when its in the mist of the problem I know that more often I am jumping the gun with how bad things are and will just regret someone hears the worst of my husband and marriage when I am in a bad place. This time its different and divorce has become a possibility.
I don’t know maybe I should try out Adebojes reasoning, go pamper my husband and renounce myself altogether. I should understand that men know that servicing them is the only thing that will bring me ultimate join and complete me. That is true happiness I guess I’m too selfish to see it.
Sorry sarcasm is my stress release.
Your comments are true. Its going back and realizing what I’ve missed out on, or more to say realizing I never did anything when I could. Experiment, find myself or whatever and now as a mother I really can’t no matter how much I would like to my kids come first. But it is true women do have it harder, I want more children and have for the past three years but over thinking and always thinking where will I be in nine months, and then the first 6 months. I missed a week, last week because my son was so sick he was admitted to the hospital. I know what life is like with an infant, even more unpredictable.
Bear with me I’m going to vent a little. I feel like I haven’t taken a break but because of that stress I’m slacking in my work at Uni and home. I was a ‘housewife’ for 5 years, I wanted to take care of my kids in the beginning I was ok until I had my daughter (2nd child) and suddenly I was frustrated and wanted more in my life (I was happy in my marriage at this point). Suddenly we decide to go abroad so I could complete my education.
One year of the stress of applying to Uni’s being rejected by two of the three I applied too. I’m funded so I walked in thinking my acceptance was more money related. Ok then during the whole MSc stressed and coming to grips that I wasn’t who I was at 20 while having the worst problems I have ever had in my marriage and wondering if we were meant to be. Enter 2nd year stressed I wouldn’t get accepted for my PhD (same supervisor and was still stressed). Then started working on the paperwork (protocol and ethics for my thesis). I literally went from my writing my MSc thesis to working on my PhD, no break.
Ok my thesis is back in my country,so I went back and stayed at my parents house for three months, were my parents were on the brick of divorce and having a crazy sister that was making it worse between them and me being the mediator between parents and sibling. At the end of the three months I was emotionally drained, depressed and just anxious to get back. Keeping in mind my husband was also dealing with really big family problems as well. Both of us went back with family issues still bad when we left and get worse in the next month after we get back with constant calls to us. This brings us to today, both on edge but feeling unsupported by the other. I am sorry I just needed to let that out. Life is hard no question but how do you know if you’ve been happy or content in your marriage. Or more so should I be patient that this is just a crappy point in our marriage which I just need to ride out. I never talk to anyone seriously about my issues, I just make jokes so this is self therapy for me, anonymous venting. Your opinions are appreciated and helpful. ThanksForum,
Interesting, I’ll have to give that a try. Eating bananas are said to improve your mood who knows what sticking it in your ear could do.
