Forget Me Not

of course while all this was going on I had single handedly beaten back a clan of ninja pandas, solved world hunger and wandered off to continue my search for the Lobster King. So…

but then he remembered the badger, with its soft fur and sexy mask

Nice one Mims

Asthma

My throat goes tight,
strangling each breath.
my lungs feel like lead
as I dance so close to death.
wordless I scream inside my head.

But nothing comes out
I’ve got nothing left to say
and even if I did
you wouldn’t listen anyway.

‘I’m gay you friggen idiot’ replied the irate donkey ‘and I’m busy doing something for the Lobster King, so get to the point’

…a three legged donkey called Captain Watermelon and said…

craved the loving touch of a real badger, then he saw Snuffles and…

@lil fek wrote:

Gifts and points will be much appreciated.

let’s see…
I’ve a zombified flamingo that can do one mean rain dance whilst playing the trombone if you’re interested

@KneeHighBoots wrote:

Well done to the Pillocks…on this occasion!

Just remember the old saying… He who laughs last…..!!

:wink:

ooh I know this one “… doesn’t get the joke”

pet badger called Snuffles who was sitting on my head

‘oi shes a minor, I ain’t no Gary Glitter’ responded the spider. I knew that I need a change of tactics so I…

what stands on one leg with its heart in its head?

giant spider who demanded that I gave him my curds and whey. So I said to him…

the Lobster King who…

You Are an Alien

You’re so strange, people occasionally wonder if you’re from another world.
You don’t try to be different, but you see most things from a very unique, very offbeat perspective.
Brilliant to the point of genius, you definitely have some advanced intelligence going on.
No matter what circles you travel in, you always feel like a…[Read more]

let’s see what you’ve won

no photoshoot but I can give you a defrosted Viking warrior called Rhuffgard The Irritable (don’t ask me what he was doing in my freezer), some beach-side real-estate in Atlantis and a spinx’s nose… oh yeh and a pair of novelty google-eyes

this might be your lucky day then lol

On the day that President Nixon took office he held his first meeting in a south facing room at the White House. It was daylight and it wasn’t rainy nor was it foggy, yet when he looked out the window, he couldn’t see the top of the Empire State Building. Why not?

and also if I can spell googolplex

argh! thwarted again. hmm let’s see, how do you fancy two second hand teabags and last month’s issue of ‘Snail’s World Weekly’, either that or I could offer you a googleplex of points

a man goes to a swimming pool and swims 50 lengths of breaststroke. the pool measures 25m (82ft) long and 12m (39ft) wide. it is 1m (3ft) in the shallow end then after15m (49ft) it shelves (at an angle of 45 degrees) to a depth of 2.5m (8ft). How much water is required to fill the pool?

me thinks pete nearly has it lol