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@nut case wrote:
I know its a couple of years old… sorry, I’m sure the new edition is much more helpfull. You could plan a route far away from all those useless drivers :)
The 2007 Edition includes a page of helpful hints for women drivers.
Hint No 3 is entitled: “How to throw a hissy fit effectively” and is aimed at all those women drivers (that’s all of them BTW) who are doing their makeup in the rearview mirror and totally miss direction signals given by male drivers. It also includes useful phrases for emergencies such as:
“He was in the wrong lane” (for use on single lane carraigeways).
“He didn’t indicate” (for usage – see above).
“But this is a one-way street” (for use on two way streets).
“I’ve only had one glass of wine” (for use when totally unable to stand).
“This is my husband’s / boyfriend’s car, he’ll kill me if he finds out.”
“I didn’t do anything, it must be YOUR fault.”
It concludes with the helpful advice that if all else fails, or if stopped by the Police, break down in tears and become hysterical. (A small piece of peeled onion is included to assist with tear production during the crying process). However, most female drivers won’t need this as they have had many years experience in instant tear production as a means of getting their own way.
@emmalush wrote:
http://video.google.co.uk/videoplay?docid=-4763903241038947095
Weve all seen this done before, but anyone know how its done? There’s no blood.
Very clever illusion isn’t it? I love the US audience response:”I was ….like…..Oh My God …” They would have REALLY screamed if he had included a small container of blood to burst as the saw apparently went through him.
I wonder how he managed to stand up after the illusion to take a bow ???
@bassingbourne55 wrote:
Land Rover apparently decreed that the word ‘Discoverys’ is the correct plural of their Discovery vehicle.
ploosa change!!
This is because (in the context of it being the brand name of their vehicle) ”Discovery” is a proper noun. They therefore heven’t breached the rules relating to the pluralisation of words ending in ”y” – ‘discovery’ (discoveries).
There’s no point in that either DOA – the living will die anyway so why spend resource trying to save them???
Nope, the answer is to let the living die … as they all will eventually anyway. Those that are dead …. forget ’em, they aren’t around to complain are they? Just focus on today and stuff your face with another fat boy’s hamburger & chips.
Quite right Emma – we should all build nuclear fallout shelters in our gardens and equip them with gas masks and tinned bully beef – that’ll exclude Hindus eh? – and packets of pork scratchings – that’ll exclude Moslems eh?? – and loads of condoms – that’ll exclude Roman Catholics eh???
We can lock ourselves in and ride out James Whale’s predicted revolution in safety and comfort and wait for the BNP to take over and save us all.
Might be one helluva long wait though !!!
@sharongooner wrote:
A delightful read. I signed into my e-mails on my mobile at work today (we dont have the net at work…… we still use carbon paper :oops: ) and to my delight there it was in my inbox!!
A full and hearty report of the year,
it made me laugh, :lol:
it made me cry,
it made me blush, :oops:
it made me sigh :?Was it all your own work PB………… really? :?: :shock: :wink:
‘Fraid it was Sharon. Sorry for the disappointment. :wink:
There ya go Sharon … it’s ‘educashun innit’??? … blame the teachers.
Hey Adolf Hitler had a teacher once, maybe it was their fault that the Holocaust happened.
Let’s have an International Blame The Teachers Day, where we can list all their crimes against humanity and burn them all at the stake or something!!!
@nick51 wrote:
The tories will cripple this country,just like they did the last time they were in power.saying that all parties are the same,the poor will get poorer and the rich will get richer
…and quite right too. The rich should get richer!!! At least SOMEBODY will end up richer. Under this load of tossers called New Labour – EVERYBODY gets poorer !!!!
Well I just hope that she has read the diet thread on this Board. Christ she is the stuff that nightmares are made of eh?
I mean, imagine going to sleep and then being woken up with her bouncing up and down on your manhood. It doesn’t bear thinking about. One misplaced bounce and she would snap you off at the root.
@American Woman wrote:
@forumhostpb wrote:
What utter and complete rubbish !!!!
If you want to lose weight – just eat less !!! If you’re a big fat porker ….. eat less !!! If you’re a wobbly lardbucket ….. eat less !!!!
….and if you’re a UGO …. go choke yourself on a fat boy’s fry-up !!!
:roll:
Are you telling me that cabbage soup doesn’t tempt you? :lol:
I’m loosing weight by eating less, but you also need to make healthy choices. No, I’m not a big fat porker or a wobbly lardbucket as you so eloquently put it. I’d just like my pre baby body back and I’m willing to eat almost anything to do it :roll: . I also exercise an hour every day, but I’m not a patient person. I’d like the rest of the weight off yesterday :lol: .Whether cabbage soup, or Roast Beef with all the trimmings etc for that matter, tempts me or not simply isn’t the issue.
Most people get fat because they eat too much – or at least they scoff more calories than their bodies can burn off. The answer is really really simple.
Don’t ponce about with faddy diets … just eat whatever you want to eat …. but LESS of it.
If you’re a greedy fat lard bucket who can’t control themselves and insist on grazing on anything in the larder, then that’s tough luck isn’t it? Get your jaws wired up or don’t buy so much food.
Pigs with their trotters in the trough not only ‘oink’ a lot but they get to be big fat porkers.
