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Awww yvw peeps.
I actually stole it but the asterisks are all my own 8) :lol:
Lmao here’s me thinking you wre in Belfast James :wink:
Davros, Mary J, rubydoll. Gie it laldy!!!!!
Glasgow Pie
(Sung to the tune of American Pie)
(PS. Milngavie is pronounced Milguy) :wink:
A long long time ago,
I can still remember how those weeji bampots made me laugh,
And I know if I had a chance to see those Neds and Sengas dance,
I’d laugh my f*cking ar/se off once again.
‘Cos don’t they realise it’s not clever,
Drinking Buckfast doon the river,
Tucked in trackie bottoms,
They look just f*cking rotten!
I can’t remember if I cried when I saw these bams in East
Kilbride,
But it amused me deep inside, the day the mucker thrived!And they were singin’……..
Bye bye, eatin’ Fray Bentos pie,
Drove the Uno roon’ the toon oh wi’ the techno up high,
Wearing wooly bunnets though it’s nearly July
Singin’, ;There’s that posh wee c*nt fae Milngavie!
There’s that posh wee c*nt fae Milngavie!Did you write the book of shyte
Can I borrow ten bob, gonnae gee’za light?
Bugger off yer full o’ pish!
Oh and do you believe in hardcore techno?
Huv ye gubbed 5 ectos fur a night at the Metro?
And can you teach me how to speak reeeaaallll slow?!
You can tell that she’s in love wi’ him,
‘Cos he’s fae Ibrox and she’s a Tim,
They both kicked off their socks and manky old Reeboks.
He was a scrawny youth with a GAP pullover,
A sovvy ring and a stolen Nova,
They fell in love when he muff dove ‘er,
The day the muckers thrived….And they were singin’……..
Bye bye, eatin’ Fraye Bentos pie
Drove the Uno roon’ the toon oh wi’ the techno up high,
Wearing wooly bunnets though it’s nearly July
There’s that posh wee c*nt fae Milngavie!Now for ten years you’ve been on the dole,
Hingin’ aboot at the Paisley Toll,
And that’s just how it’s always been.
When the mucker screamed at the Polis van,
In a coat he’d stolen fae TopMan,
And a fag that came from you or me.
But while the cop was looking dapper,
The wee bam chibbed him on the napper,
Dressed all in Kappa clobber,
As he shouted, suck ma dobber!
While wee Tam stole a shirt fae ‘Mark’s’,
And Boab slashed some c*nt in the park,
They all buzzed petrol in the dark,
The day the Mucker thrived….And they were singin’……..
Bye bye, eatin’ Fraye Bentos pie
Drove the Uno roon’ the toon oh wi’ the techno up high,
There’s that posh wee c*nt fae Milngavie!Helter Skelter, if the wean cries belt ‘er
Writing menshies on the old bus shelter,
Eight days straight drinking Faaaaaaaaaast!
Doin’ six month for selling smack,
The chip pan diet and the heart attack
A night out at Archaos wi’ the burd.
The Sengas reek of cheap perfume,
While name-tags jangle round the room,
Each one grabs her geezzer,
A fag and lemon Breezer.
The lack of class is hard to hide,
They cannae wait to get inside,
A stair-heid winch and a door-way ride,
That’s how the Muckers thriveAnd they were singin’……..
Bye bye, eatin’ Fraye Bentos pie
Drove the Uno roon’ the toon oh wi’ the techno up high,
Wearing wooly bunnets though it’s nearly July
Singin’There’s that posh wee c*nt fae Milngavie!
There’s that posh wee c*nt fae Milngavie!You’ll see them in their usual places,
With silly hats and ugly faces,
Ootside the offy acting hard.
So Shug be nimble, Shug be quick,
And get an ounce of speed on tick
Then cut it up and sell it to yer pals.
All lined up ootside the P*ki’s,
A rainbow of exotic trackies,
Giein’ abuse tae grannies,
Ya f*cked up bunch of fannies!
And as the day turns in to night,
The neds may gang up to start a fight,
But on their own they’re soft as shyte!
I’ve made a Mucker cry!And they were singin’……..
Bye bye, eatin’ Fraye Bentos pie
Drove the Uno roon’ the toon oh wi’ the techno up high,
Wearing wooly bunnets though it’s nearly July ;Singin’,There’s that posh wee c*nt fae Milngavie!
There’s that posh wee c*nt fae Milngavie!Slowly with feeling)
I met a girl who sang ‘The Sash’, I asked about her pant
moustache,
But she just told me to f*ck off!
I went down to the local chippy,
Where the Neds hung out and the staff were nippy,
And the muckers there harassed me for some fags.
Baseball hats at stupid angles,
The girls each wore three dozen bangles,
Hair done up with scrunchies,
Munching crisps and Crunchies.
But the three meals they enjoy the most,
Are chinky, chippy, beans on toast,
Come Glasgow fair they hit the coast,
The day the mucker thrived
And they were singin’……..Bye bye, eatin’ Fraye Bentos pie
Drove the Uno roon’ the toon oh wi’ the techno up high,
Wearing wooly bunnets though it’s nearly July
Singin’,;There’s that posh wee c*nt fae Milngavie!
There’s that posh wee c*nt fae Milngavie!Not too sure about good manners, but Bad Manners is a pain in the ar/se. :D
Seriously though, manners cost nothing and saying please and thank you seem to be a dying habit. Holding a door open or being polite or courteous should come as second nature.
Ah fekken shulda kent it was moody gold!!!! N’ here’s me telt the doc it wis a tampon allergy.
How much o a eejit dae ah feel noo? :shock:
:shock: That poor guy!! :lol:
Hamster jaws is good but bawjaws is better. :D
Daphne Broon is ma heroine.
Dinnae ken if she used thon curlers tho. :? :D
Ach shyte rubydoll. Ah didnae ken.
Wallies ur oot oh the skivvies and back in ma yap.
These curlers are fair chafin ma thighs.
:D
Ellooo Squeezy lass. :D
Ah’ll huv ye ken ah’m jist a braw sight!!
Apart frae the wallies. Think ah’ll stick em in ma skivvies drawer. :P
