James Belfast

It is WONDERFUL! What do we have to do to get it into the charts?

Well done lads/lasses and lancs is a hero! I am gutted at being taken off at half-time especially when I had rearranged my opticians appointment in order to play. I hold my hand up for the goal though, I was distracted by sharon’s heavy breathing. Still, we are on a roll and I am off to practice defending corners so I don’t let the side down…[Read more]

Ok gather round team it’s nearly kick-off – I have a speech of Churchillian proportions to deliver which should help us beat this bunch of kaffir-bashers.

“Unaccustomed as I am…(gets hit by flying boot)”

well done the Tiger – solid performance!

@Bad Manners wrote:

Shurrup Pikey you cost us the win with your weak shot. :x

Now now BM, we’ll have no fighting in OUR JC team (note pitch for captaincy). Pikey can go to the FA website and look up ‘shooting’. How was your Scotland trial – any feedback?

Typical pre-season game really – getting to know each other’s style of play. I’m surprised I managed to last the full match but am pleased to report no twinges on the old thigh injury. I’m off for a rub down – what time is the match tomorrow? Have we got any coloured people playing against Barking btw cos they’re a bunch of racist coonts down there?

Ok, I’m off to that pub on the corner for a fag and a pint and to read my notes on ‘dribbling’ – give me a shout when the referee turns up.

@dead_on_arrvial wrote:

I know how to fix this and had the same trouble a few years ago, but I think your a comple cu nt, so your on your own !

:lol: :lol: First time DOA has ever made me laugh (apart from some of his spelling mistakes obviously)

@sweetasbaileez wrote:

my 40th birthday pic….red head and proud…and no asking if my collar and cuffs match please :wink:

We’ll find out after the footy. :wink:

Well?????????? I’m here with my boots hanging round my neck and my old cotton tracksuit on? Where is everybody? What time is kick-off? The pubs open soon….

Ok Matty, have just been on the FA website and found loads of coaching tips. Since we are finding it hard to get together for training, can I suggest you pick a few areas for us to focus on each week?

http://www.givemefootball.com/coaching/index.html

I have already read the one on ‘dribbling’ so am probably ahead of the game here.

I think we should take turns at washing the strips. Whoever washes them should be guaranteed a game for the next match I think.

@sweetasbaileez wrote:

naked tea ??? :D :wink: got a lovely shower here :wink:

We all have to be naked? – you offering to wash all the strips I assume? That’s very kind of you. And we should have a team bath after the match, shouldn’t we?

We’ve probably got a match lined up against Henlow – all back to yours for a cup of tea afterwards then?

That’s three games in three days! We’ll be fit as feck for the start of the league campaign. I’m not sure I can make it on Tuesday cos I am picking up my new glasses from the optician. I’ll see if I can change it to Wednesday.

btw, can Amph not cook us up something better than cucumber sandwiches? I hate cucumber.

@fastcars wrote:

Huge amount of choice isn’t there.

:roll: :wink:

@sweetasbaileez wrote:

@Tommy ToXen wrote:

what is average weight for someone 6’0!?

and don’t you bloody dare tell me in metric….!!!! :lol: you bloody well tell me in British measurements!!!

176lbs = 15 to 16 stone…or so the british medical advisory says :D

Never! Are you confusing this with the American Medical Advisory??? Surley us Brits…[Read more]

Only Ernie has a chance of stopping Tiger now (but wb Tiger btw).

I heard on radio 5 today that a ‘nasty little 5-footer’ was being labelled a Dennis Wise – they were encouraging more texts along these lines but I had to go to work grrrr…did anyone hear any other submissions (Sally Gunnell is the obvious one) or does anyone know of any more?

As long as it’s not Tony Adams cos we’ll probably want to get pished after training for team bonding.

Good point actually Sweets – this is one of those rare threads that nobody has felt the need to turn into a slanging match and isn’t it a pleasure to read through it? – I had forgotten i joined JC cos I was attracted by the mentals like me. Ok back on thread……

Cats are fussy feckers who can sniff out rat poison so wasting your time there.…[Read more]