James Belfast

You can’t go wrong with this one Dee – suits ALL occasions and the last verse shows it’s suitable for weddings too:

ERNIE (THE FASTEST MILKMAN IN THE WEST)
(Benny Hill)
Benny Hill – 1971

You could hear the hoof beats pound as they raced across the ground,
And the clatter of the wheels as they spun ’round and ’round.
And he galloped into market…[Read more]

Were they male lions or female lions? If they were male then it means you have insecurities and you have been trying to hide from them but the fact that you couldn’t close the door means that you now can’t keep running and it’s time to confront the situation. The glass indicates that you can no longer hide your insecurities from those around you…[Read more]

Well if you live in Glasgow, it starts at Inverness.

:) :)

My son was born in England and wasn’t sure which team to support when England and Scotland met in the 2004(?) play offs. He would be watching with his friends at school in York and I advised him to support the home team in both matches. What happened? England won in Glasgow, Scotland won at Wembley. Poor lad – he sticks to Rugby now!

Many Happy Returns Cath xxx Hope you had a great day!!!!!!!

@Mr Amphibian wrote:

@kevin wrote:

good replys guys
my myopic view is an english mans garden is his castle
if i put a sign up say all entrants run the possibility of been shot
i will naturally put it up in pigeon english
that will save me from any form of litigation
surely the treason act covers me
i just want to end a possible coo

You can’t…[Read more]

Hope yopu enjoy the matches Drivel. If you see that wee coont Rooney stand on his toe for us eh? Are we going to be told who we have in the sweep cos I don’t know whether to cheer on the wee slitty-eyed, yellow-faced footballers or the huge, cumbersome black chappies and I would hate to be seen cheering for the wrong team like Alan Hansen!

I personally fear the number 629 but there is no term for that as far as I am aware.

I knew that :wink:

@Mr Amphibian wrote:

Wasn’t there a case where a guy shot a bat in the back (because he was robbing him) and got sent to prison for it?
Or am I confusing a bat with a Jehovas Witness?

Worse! You’re thinking of a Jehovas Burglar. And he wouldn’t have died if his accomplice hadn’t refused to let him have a blood transfusion – that’s why that Tony…[Read more]

I can’t see this being a problem since it’s your property but if you use a shotgun it might scare them off once and for all- if you pin a dead pigeon to your garden fence it should keep any others away. You can legally shoot cats and Jehovah’s Witnessess too. You are not allowed to shoot bats tho cos they are protected, unless they attack you of…[Read more]

yeah I try to do one funny one in every 1000 posts Gyps.

They were probably swerving to avoid the woman driver.

I got England to win 3-1 in the office sweep but I managed to swap with the lad who had England to lose 3-1. Phew!

@AbitofMary_J wrote:

pikey…. ya have to listen to this… lol

http://www.scottishquest.com/howscottish/game.html

LOL. Good Link Mazza. And the song is better than the official E*****d song too!

(100% SCOTTISH)

Maybe the Village People could sing M.R.S.A…

@Tory Girl wrote:

I want to know who James is PM’ing!! and you are indeed correct I was sat on the forum index simply because I was finding some music first!! :oops: :oops: :lol:

ffs it’s like Big Brother in here!! Can’t you nosy twonks give a man some peace! If you want to know who i was pm’ing you will have to… erm.. pm me.

Presume you were a hidden user then Beatty, since your name wasn’t mentioned?

I thought Ugo would have come to your rescue Gyps – not like him to miss out on an opportunity like that?! :?

Ruby for Tour Manager! She’s got all the marketing ideas!! I like the idea of changing the words to famous songs to make them more relevant to the cause too! “Congratulations! And Celebrations! I want the world to know they’ll get Herceptin for free…” Wealth4Health! would be cool banner to fly above the stage and maybe Catheter Stevens…[Read more]