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  • #229722

    Actually I AM red-green colour blind (the dot test says so anyway but i never knew). Like a true scot, I KNOW when it is MA ROON (and it’s the Hearts colours as well). Watch BM doesn’t pull the old colour-blindness excuse and lay a green carpet out for you at Central (cos he’s a Tim)! And you be careful not to catch any exotic diseases off those sailors too btw. Don’t want you bringing bird flu (or worse) back to Scotland with you!

    #228378

    Now that we can clone things, surely we can hang murderers but cut a bit of the body off and keep it in a jar (say a thumb or something). Then, if new evidence comes to light that proves they hanged the wrong person, they could simply clone the person back into existence and no damage has been done!

    #229496

    I got it ages ago but PB deleted my post…

    #229719

    Well I wish someone would re-record Ernie to a disco beat lol. Maybe Peter Kay might give it a go? And that shirt of mine is not crimson btw – it’s MAROON!

    #229718

    I think this featured in Saturday Night Fever – certainly had me dancing!

    You could hear the hoof beats pound
    As they raced across the ground
    And the clatter of the wheels
    As they spun round and round
    And he galloped into Market Street
    His badge upon his chest
    His name was Ernie
    And he drove the fastest milkcart in the west

    Now Ernie loved a widow
    A lady known as Sue
    She lived all alone in Linley Lane
    At number twenty two
    They said she was too good for him
    She was haughty, proud and chic
    But Ernie got his cocoa there
    Three times every week
    They called him Ernie (Ernie)
    And he drove the fastest milkcart in the west

    She said she’d like to bathe in milk
    He said alright sweetheart
    And when he finished work one night
    He loaded up the cart
    He said you wanted pasturised
    Coz pasturised is best
    She says Ernie I’ll be happy
    If it comes up to me chest
    And that tickled old Ernie (Ernie)
    And he drove the fastest milkcart in the west

    Now Ernie had a rival
    An evil looking man
    Called Two Ton Ted from Teddington
    And he drove the bakers van
    He tempted her with his treacle tarts
    And his tasty wholemeal bread
    And when she saw the size
    Of his hot meat pies
    It very near turned her head
    She nearly swooned at his macaroon
    And he said now if you treat me right
    You’ll have hot rolls evry morning
    And crumpets every night
    He knew once she’d sampled his layer cake
    He’d have his wicked way
    And all Ernie had to offer
    Was a pint of milk a day
    Poor Ernie (Ernie)
    And he drove the fastest milkcart in the west

    One lunchtime Ted saw Ernie’s horse and cart outside her door
    It drove him mad to find it was still there at half past four
    And as he leaped down from of his van
    Hot blood through his veins did course
    And he went across to Ernie’s cart
    And he didnarf kick his horse
    Who’s name was Trigger (Trigger)
    And he pulled the fastest milkcart in the west

    Now Ernie rushed out into the street
    His goldtop in his hand
    He said if you want to marry susie
    You’ll fight for her like a man
    Oh why don’t we play cards for her
    He sneeringly replied
    And just to make it interesting
    We’ll have a shilling on the side
    Now Ernie dragged him from his van
    And beneath the blazing sun
    They stood there face to face
    And Ted went for his bun
    But Ernie was to quick
    Things didn’t go the way ted planned
    And a strawberry flavoured youghurt
    Sent it spinning from his hand
    Now Sue she ran between them
    And tried to keep them apart
    And Ernie pushed her aside
    And a rock cake caught him underneath his heart
    And he looked up in pained surprise
    As the concrete hardened crust
    Of a stale pork pie caught him in the eye
    And Ernie bit the dust
    Poor Ernie (Ernie)
    And he drove the fastest milkcart in the west

    Ernie was only fifty-two, he didn’t want to die
    Now he’s gone to make deliveries
    In that milkround in the sky
    Where the customers are angels
    And ferocious dogs are banned
    And a milkmans life is full of fun
    In that fairy dairy land
    But a woman’s needs are many fold
    And Sue she married Ted
    But strange things happened on their wedding night
    As they lay in their bed
    Was that the trees a rustling
    Or the hinges of the gate
    Or Ernies ghostly goldtop a rattling in their crate
    They won’t forget Ernie (Ernie)
    And he drove the fastest milkcart in the west

    #229627

    Abraham who? Is he standing in for St Peter or something? What’s happened to Peter – TELL ME! Grrrrrrrrrrr

    #229582

    @rossylass wrote:

    Eh James sorry to hear you have been deleted off the crossword board………..

    you and lancsman48 usually do very well……………….so how come his not been deleted to give us a chance to????

    Ime upset to think of you missing out ………….. :cry: :oops: :cry:

    …erm, it was a joke Rossy (not a very good one obviously). Anyway shhhh, Rubes is about to reveal more juicy gossip for us…….

    #229580

    Cath, I am sure someone from the ‘management’ will explain what has happened but I am pretty sure no-one has targetted you for post deletions unless you have broken any copyright rules for recipes or knitting patterns or something. Deletion of the Birthday Message to Chess is probably the clearest indication that it is simply a ‘glitch’ in the system and nothing personal against you.

    I am ALWAYS first to get the answers to Lamby’s crossword and someone has deleted those posts too – I think its because of some JC ‘equal opportunites’ scheme to ensure the points are shared amongst the less able people such as you, Wilma, Ruby and that Rossy wifey but I am prepared to believe PB’s excuse that these deletions were caused by a ‘glitch’.

    Don’t worry about it (if you break the rules someone will tell you) – keep posting! :wink:

    #229427

    HAPPY BIRTHDAY CHESS!! xxx

    #229270

    Well far be it for anyone to let the facts get in the way of a good fight but I think you’ll find neither goalie moved (significantly) off their line for any of the penalties. They may have moved to the left or the right but that is allowed. At no stage, even after saving a penalty, was either goalie more than a foot or so off his line. The difference was that the Portugese goalie guessed the right way and was more athletic. Find the video replay on this link then ffwd to 2 mins 45 secs – see what you think.

    http://news.bbc.co.uk/sport1/hi/football/default.stm

Viewing 10 posts - 351 through 360 (of 937 total)