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Oops, timing, James, timing…
@riot wrote:
Am I following you or are you just infront ??? :lol:
This Riot chap seems a lot calmer than Ugo I must say – Ugo would have bitten at that post of mine.
Better post something before she goes off on one…. I saw The Who the last time they were in Glasgow, Alex Harvey Band in support I think.
Just get pally with Ugo, PATS, Fast and Sunny Mary then you’ll get thousands of posts on your threads – nowt to do with the original subject mind you but thousands of posts nonetheless.
The same Bride and Groom sketch (he was the father of the bride) had him saying something like “And we are all delighted you have married Gavin – tae think you nearly threw yerself away on that big Nigerian…”. This was 70’s humour so quite shocking. I’ve got a video of his ‘best of’ somewhere Mary – I’ll need to look it out, not seen it for years.
I M Jolly was on it, but also Supercop “An who d’yae think you are? Stirling Moss?”. I’ll maybe copy parts of the scripts and send them to you and peco via pc – shouldn’t think English folks will want us clogging up their boards with this stuff. They never did take to Riki Fulton that well…
I was reading earlier today on one of the other threads about someone wanting a Best Man’s speech done for him and I immediately thought of Ricki Fulton’s sketch…”and finally, I would ask you to join me in a toast for the two special peepul without whom we wouldn’t be sitting here now….(raises glass) Ladies and Gentlemen,… The Barstaff!”. Classic.
Disappointed
The Results ARE IN! You are:
77%
SlutI was married for 20 years so this is bollox! Isn’t it…?
We haven’t seen this in a while:
:wink:
ERNIE Benny HillYou could hear the hoof beats pound
As they raced across the ground
And the clatter of the wheels
As they spun round and round
And he galloped into Market Street
His badge upon his chest
His name was Ernie
And he drove the fastest milkcart in the westNow Ernie loved a widow
A lady known as Sue
She lived all alone in Linley Lane
At number twenty two
They said she was too good for him
She was haughty, proud and chic
But Ernie got his cocoa there
Three times every week
They called him Ernie (Ernie)
And he drove the fastest milkcart in the westShe said she’d like to bathe in milk
He said alright sweetheart
And when he finished work one night
He loaded up the cart
He said you wanted pasturised
Coz pasturised is best
She says Ernie I’ll be happy
If it comes up to me chest
And that tickled old Ernie (Ernie)
And he drove the fastest milkcart in the westNow Ernie had a rival
An evil looking man
Called Two Ton Ted from Teddington
And he drove the bakers van
He tempted her with his treacle tarts
And his tasty wholemeal bread
And when she saw the size
Of his hot meat pies
It very near turned her head
She nearly swooned at his macaroon
And he said now if you treat me right
You’ll have hot rolls evry morning
And crumpets every night
He knew once she’d sampled his layer cake
He’d have his wicked way
And all Ernie had to offer
Was a pint of milk a day
Poor Ernie (Ernie)
And he drove the fastest milkcart in the westOne lunchtime Ted saw Ernie’s horse and cart outside her door
It drove him mad to find it was still there at half past four
And as he leaped down from of his van
Hot blood through his veins did course
And he went across to Ernie’s cart
And he didnarf kick his horse
Who’s name was Trigger (Trigger)
And he pulled the fastest milkcart in the westNow Ernie rushed out into the street
His goldtop in his hand
He said if you want to marry susie
You’ll fight for her like a man
Oh why don’t we play cards for her
He sneeringly replied
And just to make it interesting
We’ll have a shilling on the side
Now Ernie dragged him from his van
And beneath the blazing sun
They stood there face to face
And Ted went for his bun
But Ernie was to quick
Things didn’t go the way ted planned
And a strawberry flavoured youghurt
Sent it spinning from his hand
Now Sue she ran between them
And tried to keep them apart
And Ernie pushed her aside
And a rock cake caught him underneath his heart
And he looked up in pained surprise
As the concrete hardened crust
Of a stale pork pie caught him in the eye
And Ernie bit the dust
Poor Ernie (Ernie)
And he drove the fastest milkcart in the westErnie was only fifty-two, he didn’t want to die
Now he’s gone to make deliveries
In that milkround in the sky
Where the customers are angels
And ferocious dogs are banned
And a milkmans life is full of fun
In that fairy dairy land
But a woman’s needs are many fold
And Sue she married Ted
But strange things happened on their wedding night
As they lay in their bed
Was that the trees a rustling
Or the hinges of the gate
Or Ernies ghostly goldtop a rattling in their crate
They won’t forget Ernie (Ernie)
And he drove the fastest milkcart in the westWhy is she getting her hymen replaced?
