[James54]

@woohoo wrote:

Dear Justchat..

I Bought Myself A New Jacket – A Red One To Be Precise..

Well.. Mumsy Asked Me To Take Some Macaroons To My Grandad.. I Didn’t Fancy Catching The Bus, I Decided To Walk.

As I Was Walking Through The Lane, I heard A Rustle Behind The Trees.

“Who’s There?” I Asked.. There Was No Reply..

A Few Seconds Later, I Heard More Rustling.. “Who’s There?” I Asked Again..
With That, I Couldn’t Believe It.. A Wolf Appeared, And Had A Go At Me.. “Look Ew Fu C King Idiot”, He Said, I Am Trying To Have A S h i t, Innit”..

Dear King Idiot

I am afraid red is just not your lucky colour.

Try beige.

Yours incongrously

J

[James54]

@pete wrote:

The bitch is two timing me I knew it…. never fall for a gorilla my mother told me.. she was right

Camilla has a habit of infidelity Pete, sorry to say.

[James54]

Male

[James54]

going through my work out routine in the car

[James54]

@jen_jen wrote:

@james54 wrote:

@kent f OBE wrote:

:shock: @ charleten

:lol:

but, such a beautiful one :)

Smoothy :roll: :lol:

One tries ones best at smooth and one bags a Camilla.

So one tries a little roughness instead, but underneath is that soft gentleness that brings out the mothering instinct innate in the female. Right now one is dating a lady gorilla one met at Whipsnade Speed Dating Night, she just turned up on the offchance looking for Big Ears and one was the next best thing, so to speak.

Funnily enough she reminds one of Camilla in so many ways.

[James54]

@kent f OBE wrote:

:shock: @ charleten

:lol:

but, such a beautiful one :)

[James54]

@jen_jen wrote:

Dear JC,

Please help, I’m in a quandry and all of a dither.

I have always been well-behaved, seeing the good in everything and everybody, keeping any impure thoughts to myself. Then I discovered JC and made some “friends”…or so I thought.

One in particular encouraged me to come out of my shell, to be more like her, and I admired her nobility so followed her example (I do hope I haven’t given too much information, I wouldn’t want you to know who I’m talking about…but this is confidential isn’t it?). Now I find that she’s been calling me names (what does floosy mean btw?) and blaming me for her own impure thoughts, things that would never have occured to me before talking to her! She tries to make out she’s a friend by wanting to get medication for me, whilst all the time deflecting from her own impurity of mind.

Worse, she is plotting with another to lead me towards my own salvation? I wouldn’t mind so much but neither of them has had the courtesy to discuss it with me.

Maybe it’s time to turn to the church for salvation, or maybe to the good people of forum 3, what do you think?

Yours with a touch of umbrage,
Jen

Dear touched one

Sometimes letters arrive that really strike a chord and touch the heart. But, no matter, I answer ones like this as well.

Simply put, friends like yours probably hang from trees rather than grow on them. It is time to shed yourself of these shackles and move onto new challenges.

2010 could well be your year, I sense you are awakening to it slowly; whilst most people are in mid January mode you still have the sleepiness of new year’s day about you. This touching innocence is doubtlessly what these charlatans crave, so be sparing with your tenderness and reward only the most upright.

If you need more try our premium rate help lines, I am sure you will find words of reassurance there.

Improbably yours,

J

[James54]

brazilian

[James54]

torque

(or for the girlies torque-torque)

[James54]

snort

(before my time :P )

[Author]

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