[lolly]

@pete wrote:

Muslim extremists are in a minority not a majority, of course muslims have computers etc. As for the Ireland question, did violence achieve anything ? I’d say bloody right it did, the IRA didnt just decide oh dear this is wrong. We took N Ireland they wanted it back the Jews took Palestine they want it back. And for how many thousands of years did christians persecute un christian goings on

my knowledge of what happened was the jews had no where to go they were driven out – israel was given to the jews as a place to settle by the powers that be, they did not take it by force. These people do need a land to call home do you have any suggestions as to where they should go? should they not fight back when they are attacked? the jews have been persecuted in one way or another right through history and i guess it will continue untill they are driven into the sea.

there is more arab land for the palastinians in that region than is needed dont tell me this is about geography.

[lolly]

I agree wholeheartedly it is easier to give advice and be emotionally adult when it comes to other people, i feel the reason we cannot council ourselves so easily is because we no longer use our heads, we use our emotions and our family of origin dictates our reactions and behaviour, even though intellectually we can reason this our raw emotions are so deep they determine outcomes.

letting our masks slip – sadly when you have lived a bit of life you are not so ready to bare your soul to all, defence mechanisms set in and no amount of words can replace actions and the steady trust built which only time can do; some succeed with this and some just cant.

We are all human beings and in the grand scheme of the universe pretty insignificant i dont doubt.

flippin heck all a bit heavy me thinks….. maybe we should start a psychology thread!! you and me cath putting the world to rights!!! i’ll make the tea you bring the cakes xxxx

[lolly]

You seem well grounded and i have no doubt from reading your posts that you have all the qualities required to set your girls up with the best start possible. To be compasionate, patient and reliable seems to do the trick, and my instinct tells me you are all those things. xx

[lolly]

I agree with what you say cath but feel its a game of russian roulette when a parent knowingly takes a chance with a childs emotional outcome. At some level not having emotional intelligence makes it excusable to an extent, but i guess i am talking about the ones that see what they are doing and yet continue.

Does everyone deserve a child? BIG question – i agree a child is a gift but what of the parents that do not recognise this and fail to give the foundation.

Thanks for taking the time to respond cath x

[lolly]

Bless you Cath xx

[lolly]

Planned or unplanned – my child is a blessing.

The love of a child is something that is pure and unconditional; every time we hurt our beautiful precious child the child will blame themselves for not being good enough or worthy. When of course we are not the worthy ones. Do we want to pass on this legacy, why is it that the only consistent thing for some parents is inconsistency. Do we feed our own pain by destroying them. Planned or unplanned; the love a child gives will always exceed what they receive but for how long?

Where do we draw the line? when do we say I can’t do that? when we love to such depth we physically feel it in every fibre of our being – NOTHING is ever too hard however so it may feel. We suffer our own emotional torture in order to prevent theirs, we push ourselves daily to accomplish the days events when we feel like running and hiding from our miserable existence; because that is what real love is. What we give of ourselves is infinite and we are happy to do so – but what happens to the child who does not receive enough; do they learn to hate, stop trusting, become unable to form relationships forget to sing and skip merrily through this world and instead carry their heavy load, become angry apathetic and unfocussed, withdrawn, scared. Our children rarely do as we advise but they ape what they see, we teach them how to treat others by the way we treat them, our sacred daughters marry men like their fathers because the behaviour is comfortable and must therefore be right how much responsibility we hold by what we subtly teach them. I endeavour to right all the wrongs inflicted on my child knowing I will never be able to do so, but could not be a mother if I did not try.

I would like to share the following extract and hope you gain as much from it as i did.

Real isn’t how you are made, “said the Skin Horse. “It’s a thing that happens to you. When a child loves you for along, long time, not just to play with, but REALLY loves you, then you become Real.”

“Does it hurt?” asked the Rabbit.

“Sometimes, “said the Skin Horse, for he was always truthful. “When you are Real you don’t mind being hurt.”

“Does it happen all at one, like being wound up,” he asked, “or bit by bit?”

“It doesn’t happen all at once, “said the Skin Horse. “You become. It takes a long time. That’s why it doesn’t happen often to people who break easily, or have sharp edges, or whole have to be carefully kept. Generally, by the time you are Real, most of your hair has been loved off, and your eyes drop out and you get loose in your joints and very shabby. But these things don’t matter at all, because once you are Real you can’t be ugly, except to people who don’t understand.”

– by Margery Williams, from The Velveteen Rabbit –

If you stop being loved by a child do you cease to be real?

If you cease to be real do you fade away?

If you fade away do you feel un-endurable hurt?

If the hurt you feel kills your very soul do you feel what you have caused

If you cause a Childs smile to become a frown do you forever frown

If you frown and beg forgiveness do you have to forgive yourself?

If you cannot forgive yourself do you deserve the child

was’nt really sure where to post this

lolly

[lolly]

Hello Pete im sure the novelty will wear off a bit but i have just lit me bonfire!!!!

thanks for saying hi xx since when were lollipops norty??

Bat hello to you and thankyou for your chivalry – a rare quality – look forward to more chat, lolly xx

Hi there Sharon thanks for your welcome – i have been reading a lot of your posts and think we will get along just fine xx

Thanks Toy for helping me find my way xx

Cath xx I couldn’t go without giving you a mention xx

feels like an Oscar speach!

[lolly]

Thanks Cath, its all a bit new need to find my feet, i must say i have read some very interesting stuff and some a bit silly too!! but look forward to getting involved. xxx

[lolly]

Thanks Toy for a very gracious welcome. I am looking forward to discovering the world of Arts corner, and maybe contributing something of vague interest here and there. Hello Cath too xxx

[Author]

Posts