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@ironduke wrote:
A man staggered into a hospital with a concussion, multiple bruises,
two black eyes, and a five iron wrapped tightly around his throat.Naturally, the Doctor asked him, ‘What happened to YOU?’
‘Well, I was having a quiet round of golf with my wife, when at a
difficult hole, we both sliced our golf balls into a field of cattle.We went to look for them and while I was looking around I noticed one
of the cows had something white at its rear end.’‘I walked over, lifted its tail, and sure enough, there was a golf
ball with my wife’s monogram on it – stuck right in the middle of the
cow’s doughnut
Still holding the cow’s tail up, I yelled to my wife, ‘Hey, this looks
like yours!”‘I don’t remember much after that.’
He he :lol: :lol: Now this is funny
@kent f OBE wrote:
God gives but he also takes away.
Sorry for your loss Kent
@annette-curtain wrote:
If you had read the boards as much as you said you did …….. you would know i already have said it .
Bully Boy Thin ….. but you see, i am not allowed an opinion on here .. i am here apparently to just to just cause trouble …….. not Part of the ‘ Coven’ you see- and all i crave is attention :wink:
To stay silent and not take part does not mean there is a coven Annette. Sometimes its better not to take part in threads that are so negative. I come here for light relief. I prefer not to participate in tit for tat, that does not mean that Thin is not aware that I dislike his spin on posts here.
I think thin was referring to a previous post here when he mentioned do gooders YourChoice, his remark was tongue in cheek so on this occasion his remark was maybe taken out of context, however that’s not always the case.
Teapot
Remember
:D :D :D
@ironduke wrote:
I have a new chat up line that works every time! It doesn’t matter how gorgeous or out of my league a woman might be, this line is a winner and I always end up in bed with them. Here’s how it goes ‘Excuse me love, could I ask your opinion? Does this damp cloth smell like chloroform to you?’
:D shouldn’t laugh… but I did :D
Teapot
Well all I can say here is I must have lead a sheltered life.
Teapot
:lol: :lol: :lol:
@ironduke wrote:
Two prawns were swimming around in the sea, one called Justin and the other called Kristian.
The prawns were constantly being harassed and threatened by sharks that inhabited the area.
Finally one day Justin said to Kristian, ‘I’m fed up with being a prawn. I wish I was a shark, and then I wouldn’t have any worries about being eaten.’
A large mysterious cod appeared and said, ‘Your wish is granted’
Lo and behold, Justin turned into a shark.
Horrified, Kristian immediately swam away, afraid of being eaten by his old mate.
Time passed (as it does) and Justin found life as a shark boring and lonely.
All his old mates simply swam away whenever he came close to them.
Justin didn’t realize that his new menacing appearance was the cause of his sad plight.
While swimming alone one day he saw the mysterious cod again and he thought perhaps the mysterious fish could change him back into a prawn.
He approached the cod and begged to be changed back, and, lo and behold, he found himself turned back into a prawn. With tears of joy in his tiny little eyes Justin swam back to his friends and bought them all a cocktail.
(The punch line does not involve a prawn cocktail – it’s much worse).
Looking around the gathering at the reef he realized he couldn’t see his old pal.
‘Where’s Kristian?’ he asked.
‘He’s at home, still distraught that his best friend changed sides to the enemy & became a shark’, came the reply.
Eager to put things right again and end the mutual pain and torture, he set off to Kristian’s abode.
As he opened the coral gate, memories came flooding back.
He banged on the door and shouted, ‘It’s me, Justin, your old friend, come out and see me again.’
Kristian replied, ‘No way, you’ll eat me. You’re now a shark, the enemy, and I’ll not be tricked into being your dinner.’
Justin cried back ‘No, I’m not. That was the old me. I’ve changed.’………
‘I’ve found Cod. I’m a Prawn again Kristian’Groaning Iron, made me smile too though :D
@yourchoice wrote:
The bonuses are to stop us losing all the best people to other countries dont you know?
ffs if theyre the best we can do then we are well and truely up sh.it creek without a paddle.
Teapot
