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“I feel sorry for people who don’t drink. When they wake up in the morning, that’s as good as they’re going to feel all day,” Frank Sinatra
@sir Actor wrote:
@~Pebbles~ wrote:
actor save me the bother post it on here, cos if i pm you , you what i’ll do :lol:
If you pm me you’ll do what? :? :roll:
i was a bit p/issed alright!! and im suffering for it today i can tell you! Almost fainted at worked – what was all that about?? :shock:
i meant to say post it on here, cos if you pm it to me i’ll live up to my name and post it for ya :wink:
oh sod it, it was funnier in my head last night when i typed it.. :roll:
Fire Authorities in California found a corpse in a burnt out section of forest whilst assessing the damage done by a forest fire. The body was dressed in a full wetsuit, complete with a dive tank, flippers and face mask.
A post-mortem examination revealed that the diver did not die from burns, but from massive internal injuries. Investigators then set about determining how a fully clad diver ended up in the middle of a forest fire. They found that, on the day of the fire, the person went for a diving trip off the coast – some 20 MILES away from the forest.
The firefighters, seeking to control the fire as quickly as possible, called in a fleet of helicopters with very large buckets. The buckets were dropped into the ocean for rapid filling, then flown to the forest fire and emptied. The diver was scooped out of the ocean, into the bucket and dropped over the fire.
Apparently, he extinguished exactly 1.78m (5’10”) of the fire.
During the wedding reception of a young couple, the guests decided to play a drunken game of hide and seek. It was decided that the groom was “it” and he eventually found everyone except his new bride.
The longer he searched the more frusturated he became and he was soon furious thinking she had left. He decided the game wasn’t funny anymore and went home without his bride. As weeks went by, he accepted that she’d had second thoughts and went on with her life so he did the same.
A few years later a cleaning lady dusted off an old trunk in the attic of the building where the reception had taken place, out of curiosity she opened it.
Inside the trunk was the rotted body of the missing bride who’d apparently became locked in the trunk she’d chosen to hide in. Whether she’d suffocated or starved was unknown, but her face was frozen in a scream.
A group of young college women went to Florida for spring break. While there, one of them met the perfect man and fell madly in love. By the end of the week they were engaged but when spring break ended the girl had to fly home.
When they were saying goodbye at the airport, the man gave her a ring box in which she assumed was an engagement ring. When she got home, she excitedly told her family and friends all about “Mr. wonderful”, and with them gathered around her she opened the ring box, which contained a toy skeleton and a piece of paper which said “Welcome to the world of AIDS.”
Fatal Tan
It was the day before a couple’s wedding. The bride to be wanted to look beautiful in her white wedding dress so she went to a local salon to get a “healthy looking” tan. Afterward, she felt like she was still pretty pale so she lathered herself up with deep tanning lotion and visited every tanning salon in her town.The next day, right after the couple said “I do”, the bride fell over dead. The autopsy reported that her organs had been cooked ten times.
tired
@sir Actor wrote:
@~Pebbles~ wrote:
@bon bon wrote:
Tomorrow is a works night out
15 of us are going to a Chinese Restaurant courtesy of my employers
Its my first social event for years
What do I wear(theyve threatened to sit me with the works bully, the works bore, the smelliest worker and the thicko)
i didnt know you worked with pete
I think you’ve taken a bit of a fancy to pete.
That’s my theory anyway.
I bet you both sit in msn together having a laugh at the rest of us for not knowing you’re mates.
Until now, of course.do you always lose your bets?
@bon bon wrote:
Tomorrow is a works night out
15 of us are going to a Chinese Restaurant courtesy of my employers
Its my first social event for years
What do I wear(theyve threatened to sit me with the works bully, the works bore, the smelliest worker and the thicko)
i didnt know you worked with pete
