[petal]

The bride tells her husband, “Honey, you know I’m a virgin and I don’t know
anything about sex. Can you explain it to me first?”

“OK, Sweetheart. Putting it simply, we will call your private place ‘the
prison’ and call my private thing ‘the prisoner’. So what we do is: put the
prisoner in the prison.

And then they made love for the first time.

Afterwards, the guy is lying face up on the bed, smiling with satisfaction.

Nudging him, his bride giggles, “Honey the prisoner seems to have escaped.”

Turning on his side, he smiles. “Then we will have to re-imprison him.”

After the second time they spent, the guy reaches for his cigarettes but
the girl, thoroughly enjoying the new experience of making love, gives him
a suggestive smile, “Honey, the prisoner is out again!”

The man rises to the occasion, but with the unsteady legs of a recently
born foal.

Afterwards, he lays back on the bed, totally exhausted.

She nudges him and says, “Honey, the prisoner escaped again.”

Limply turning his head, He YELLS at her, “Hey, its not a life sentence,
OKAY! [/b]

[petal]

Its been 1 bad year which i cannot wait to go away.

1) My Uncle killed himself
2) My 11 year old found him
3)My stalker was still stalking even around the time of funeral
4) My stalker was let of by the police for the 6th time
5) My brothers girlfriend done a runner with his son who i helped bring up for the first 5 months of his life and classed as me little surrogate so no kids here this xmas.
6) Good thing i found out who really loves me My boyfriend who has stook with me through everything.
7) Another good thing My daughter getting the senoir school she wanted and is now happy with brill friends after everything

will 7 do?

[petal]

Blimey has anyone got a couple buckets of water i think theres a few need coolin down lol.

The thing that made me laugh today is that site of pats was so funny im sure it reminded me of somone lol.

[petal]

lmao Sunny i wont tell honest shhhhhhh lol. Looks like the xmas drinks are on you hun :wink:
I was gona say skint but someone already has lol. erm erm erm
Concerned – for my friends ill mum.

[petal]

i just got a card through the post with 20 quid inthat made me smile. :D Then i frowned because ive got to wait for it to clear in the bank lol. :(

[petal]

yes :shock: :shock: :shock: :shock: :shock: tell us more about morning sickness lol.

Kids

[petal]

Did you see he got of with a warning apparently hes a recovering alcholic which prob explains why he nolonger is a director. Looks like its back to square 1 for him.

[petal]

melow

[petal]

a nice snog of my boyfriend before he went to work this morning (yes thats all i got wasnt much time lol).

[petal]

He must of done some drinking to get in that state cant rember last time i had a chance to get comatose lol. Yes as you say wonder why hes an ex director now makes you wonder doesnt it? just think all that money spent could of helped all other areas even them poor people who lost out to fare pack things like that.

[Author]

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