[pikey]

Talk of Killing Joke has put me in mind of Martin Glover aka Youth, who I consider one of Britain’s best ever musicians and, not least, producer of Yazz’s greatest hit Fine Time.

[pikey]

Do excuse me. I didn’t mean to leave the conversation so suddenly. It’s just I began to think about Dan Brown’s books and the horror overwhelmed me to the point of sudden unconsciousness.

To misquote the Boosh, my problem with him is what every right thinking person’s problem with him is: He is a bullshit muncher. Ridiculous plots heaped on top of ridiculous characters – all accomplished with poorly written and badly phrased prose. A good book should leave us understanding more about the world and humanity after we have finished it. Dan Brown’s books leave us a poorer person for having taken the trouble. And, no, popularity is not an indicator of quality. I think you’ll find Katie Price’s ‘autobiography’ is one of the best selling books of recent years.

[pikey]

Expand? Certainly. He’s rubbish.

[pikey]

Since it’s you, (f), mates rates and all that, that’ll be thirty-five quid, please. My lowest consultancy fee.

[pikey]

I don’t think emoticons are a big bother. They’re a result of the nature of the media, I reckon.

Speed is a factor. When sending telegrams, which were quick but paid for by the word or letter, people tended towards the very terse: COMING HOME FRIDAY STOP

A letter, which might not elicit a reply for days or weeks, both encouraged and rewarded a longer, more languid effort, featuring dense prose:

My dearest Caroline,

If tears, which you saw & know I am not apt to shed, if the agitation in which I parted from you, agitation which you must have perceived through the whole of this most nervous nervous affair, did not commence till the moment of leaving you approached, if all that I have said & done, & am still but too ready to say & do, have not sufficiently proved what my real feelings are & must be ever towards you, my love, I have no other proof to offer.

God knows I wish you happy, & when I quit you, or rather when you from a sense of duty to your husband & mother quit me, you shall acknowledge the truth of what I again promise & vow, that no other in word or deed shall ever hold the place in my affection which is & shall be most sacred to you, till I am nothing.

I never knew till that moment, the madness of — my dearest & most beloved friend — I cannot express myself — this is no time for words — but I shall have a pride, a melancholy pleasure, in suffering what you yourself can hardly conceive — for you don not know me. — I am now about to go out with a heavy heart, because — my appearing this evening will stop any absurd story which the events of today might give rise to — do you think now that I am cold & stern, & artful — will even others think so, will your mother even — that mother to whom we must indeed sacrifice much, more much more on my part, than she shall ever know or can imagine.

“Promises not to love you” ah Caroline it is past promising — but shall attribute all concessions to the proper motive — & never cease to feel all that you have already witnessed — & more than can ever be known but to my own heart — perhaps to yours — May God protect forgive & bless you — ever & even more than ever.

yr. most attached
BYRON

P.S. — These taunts which have driven you to this — my dearest Caroline — were it not for your mother & the kindness of all your connections, is there anything on earth or heaven would have made me so happy as to have made you mine long ago? & not less now than then, but more than ever at this time — you know I would with pleasure give up all here & all beyond the grave for you — & in refraining from this — must my motives be misunderstood —? I care not who knows this — what use is made of it — it is you & to you only that they owe yourself, I was and am yours, freely & most entirely, to obey, to honour, love —& fly with you when, where, & how you yourself might & may determine.

Electronic communication such as all this business is still evolving. It’ll find its own graceful form over time, I’m sure. It’ll also find its Dan Browns, I think. That form may include emoticons. They seem to be evolving. Who knows into what future delight they might morph.

That rolling eye one should be banned, though. I reckon that starts more fights than anything. Sometimes, interestingly, I think, and therefore in contention with Pete’s point, precisely because its desired meaning is misread. :roll:

[pikey]

Oh dear.

[pikey]

What a wit you are. To think that only took you half an hour to think up.

[pikey]

Here, what did you all think of the recent hippety hoppety, post mortem collaborations of Chant Down Babylon? I thought the flavour filled chapsters of The Ghetto Youths Crew did particularly well with Kinky Reggae. Also, I think Lauren Hill should’ve been mentioned in dispatches for Turn Your Lights Down Low.

[pikey]

That would’ve been the point, yes, you two bob, four eyed, charmless twit.

[pikey]

Cath, you old pranny. Revolution

[Author]

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